I am currently arguing with someone about:
Does holding a baby upside down cause brain damage?

I was lying on the couch I held the baby on my belly, I slightly & gently lifted her holding both legs for a about 5 seconds. Now my girlfriends mother thinks the baby is going to have brain damage. I think that's absurd since a baby experiences more g-force trama at a stop sign.

Her mom switched to panic mode, you would have thought I was swinging the baby around in cirlcles by one leg like a terrible towell at a steelers game... you know. There's got to be some documentation of pros and cons on this subject.

Someone said that they did it to calm a colic baby.
The nurse did it to take measurment when she was a newborn.
Ive seen inperational pics of a mom and dad holding a baby upside down .

Making Smart Babies - SWINGING, ROCKING, SPINNING, ETC. - by Brillbaby

Here is what I found.
Upside down

This is an excellent exercise, which unfortunately is not commonly done. If you are just starting out, you may wish to have your partner assist you by making sure your baby's head and neck are not placed in an awkward position at any time.

The simplest way is to sit on a chair and let your baby lie on her back on your lap, with her head close to your knees and her legs closer to you. Next, lift up your baby's legs and hold on to her ankles (or hold further up just under the knees if you feel you need more control). Then slowly stand up as you hold on to your baby's legs. You need not even do anything with your hands except hold on to your baby, and when you have fully stood up, you will find yourself now holding your baby upside-down. To lie her back down in a horizontal position, simply reverse the process – hold her close to your thighs, and slowly sit back down as you gently ease her into a horizontal position onto your lap.

In the beginning, keep these upside-down periods short (5 seconds at a time) until your baby becomes more used to it. As you and your baby get more comfortable, you can extend the period to a minute, and even gently swing her.

Obviously, do not do this immediately after your baby has had her meal.

It doesn't say what age this appropriate but, don't think your child is going to be brain damaged for what you described.

Yeah I am very careful during play time. I have 3 other kids and 17 neices and nefs. My overprotective ex mother inlaw never said nothing except to be careful. I think this is a case of too much worry. This is her first grandchild too, she may feel it worse since she doesn't have the complete control thing going on.

My other problem is that my g/fs mom hogs up a lot of baby bonding time and I am not getting to see my new child very much.

The idea that you will cause brain damage in your child is ludicrous. The child generally spends the last eight weeks in the womb upside down! I have a ten month old who literally laughs out loud every time she is help upside down.

Don't let nervous overprotective people diminish the fun you have with your child.

THANK YOU skuffy & NowWhat,

Just from reading blogs I can see that some folks are merely confusing a simliar more vigorous motion (as realated to shaken baby syndrome) with a gentle trust bonding exercise.

I wonder if trapeze artist would say?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hossbonnam

My other problem is that my g/fs mom hogs up alot of baby bonding time and I am not getting to see my new child very much.

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Well, keep in mind that this is YOUR child. If you want to hold her, then hold her. If you want to feed her, then feed her. I am sure you know that they aren't little for long. There needs to be a balance.

Just curious, but how does she 'hog" the baby?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NowWhat

Well, keep in mind that this is YOUR child. If you want to hold her, then hold her. If you want to feed her, then feed her. I am sure you know that they aren't little for long. There needs to be a balance.

Just curious, but how does she 'hog" the baby?

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My girlfriends lives with her father until we get married. Her mom tries to convince her daughter to come stay with her one hour away often. She has stayed there already 13 days in 4 weeks. And when she's not staying at her moms her mom practically lives at her house. To which causes problems for her dad and his girlfriend.

But it really gets more complicated than this. My girlfriends mother has a severe gambling problem. She had just taken her ex hubby for well over $90,000 alimony and has nothing to show for it. She is constantly crying the poor game. Also she receives child support for the oldest daughter who is mentally challenged. She is 27 and will need assistance for the rest of her life. The older sister always feels left out and wants to visit her fathers as much as she can. She even wants to move there, Im guessing the mother fears loss of an asset and this could be her motive. (a gambler needs their money)

I was upset and told my girlfriend to stop parading the baby back and forth in the winter to her moms who lives on treacherous back country roads. Since then the mom has convince the daughter to seek a lawyers consultation to find out her rights as a mother.
I was flabergasted to hear this. Im at a loss.

Most of family has not gotten to see my new addition and some have made are upset. Two family members don't want nothing to do with this child now. I am reconsidering marriage as well.

Okay, first of all - slow down.
How old is your baby? Is this the first child for your GF?

The grandmother sounds like she has issues to put it mildly. But, she is still your gf's mom. That is a bond that is not easily broken. And if your girlfriend is a new mother, she may be looking to her mom for assistance.

If some of your family are willing to disown this innocent child for "sins" that aren't hers - do you want them in her life to begin with? She can't control anything - how can you say you don't want anything to do with the baby when she has NO CONTROL??

And lastly, having a new baby is so stressful. Even for couples that are married and have it "all together". I remember screaming at my husband for having the nerve to leave his socks on the floor after our daughter was born. It was like he just slapped me in the face - I tell you, the nerve..! :)
So, don't make any life changing decisions right now. Communicate with the mother of your child. Tell her how this makes your feel. Don't close those lines - ask her questions, see where she is coming from.

Baby is 4 weeks and is her first child, My 4th child. To which I have much experience on raising a child. I also have 17 neices and nephs. I read and done everything in any baby manual and then some. Compare me to a "Mr Belvedere" if you will. Except for work Ive made myself quite available for support and assistance.

I agree on my family, if they don't have sympathy and a willing to support me during my times then I don't really need them, because they aren't being there for me. I didn't say I didn't want to be in the baby's life. I just said I don't know if I want to risk marriage now. (its the lawyer thing that's turning my stom ach) I can get visitation and pay child support. Would be a cheaper solution. I already have shared parenting for my other 3 kids and that's working out pretty good.

I know about the overeacting stress thing. (read 'dont sweat the small stuff') I really do love her but I think I'm going to hold my ground on this issue. I am going to plant myself at my house and if she feels the need to be with me and let me see our newborn then so be it. But if she continues to galavant around, I will obtain visitation rights.

I don't want to end up divorced in 5 years losing half of everything I've worked so hard for because of a manipulative mother in law.


Our last issue was her giving the baby her last name to which I caved on.

Well, if you aren't sure about marriage, then you should wait. I agree with you there. By her giving the bay her last name would make me question her commitment. If she knew that a wedding was upcoming - why else would she do that?

She doesn't see the faults in her mother? It is hard to I think. We put our parents on a pedestal. She may know these things about her mom, but just can't separate herself.

I am sure you want to be a part of your child's life. I don't doubt that at all. I just think you need to keep the lines of communication open, because as you know, if you can get along with the mother of your child, it makes life easier.

Amen