My adult daughter is verbally abusuve to me
Help! I need advise. My only daughter (my only child) is verbally abusive to me. Not all the time, but when it happens she just tears in to me. She always says we just can't get along and she is happier when I am not in her life. Basically, she tells me our relationship is over. The smallest thing I do can set her off. I feel like I am on egg shells most of the time, trying not to make her mad. I love my grandchildren so much that I can't bear the thought of not being in their lives. I love my daughter too, but most of the time I am uncomfortable around her. She blows up at her husband and the kids sometimes, but not like she does with me. We had some issues from her childhood that both of us had therapy for. I had hoped they were resolved, but I can't help but think she just hates me. I try to do everything I can for her. My family and friends tell me I have spoiled her and that she just doesn't respect me because she knows she can treat me the way she does. Last week I was visiting and she blew up at me and I took a stand and ended up leaving. I usually give in and stay when she does that, but this time I told her she had to apologize and admit that she doesn't have the right to treat me like that. She wouldn't apologize, instead she justified her actions... said I know just how to set her off. She is not speaking to me now and my family and friends say I shouldn't try to contact her... that she needs to realize she can't keep doing this to me. They tell me from their prospective I was a doting, wonderful mom... but from her perspective she thinks I was an awful mom. I have read a lot on here from people who say their daughter treats them this way and they had no issues growing up. What causes this? And how do I get her to stop yelling at me. The last time it happened it was in front of my grandchild. That really hurt...