Having sexual problems with my girlfriend
My girlfriend have been dating for four years, and having sex for the last 8 months or so. It took us a while because she's really religious, but she ended up giving in before we were married. Our first several times having sex were pretty much utter failures. Even after 30 minutes to an hour of foreplay, she wouldn't be wet enough for us to have sex. She'd usually have an orgasm, or several (unless she fakes them, idk) before we even tried. So it seemed like she was getting stimulated in the right ways, but just not getting wet.
Over the 8 months we've been having sex, we've probably only tried to have sex about 20 times, if even that much. Of those, I can remember like 5 or 6 times where she was wet enough for it to work. Sometimes she would be wet enough, but she would start saying it was pinching or hurting and we'd have to stop. I understand that she still feels guilty about having sex because she feels like she's going against her beliefs, so that is probably a factor. But is there more to interperet from this? I mean, we're 21 and 22 years old, I'd think it would be a struggle to keep us apart physically since we can freely have sex pretty much any time we're hanging out. Instead, it's more like some scheduled event that she seems like she's trying to get out of.
From what I'm saying it probably sounds like I'm just really bad at it, which could be, but I honestly don't think that's really it. I'll start kissing her, slowly transition to feeling around, then sometimes I'll go down on her and all that kind of stuff. So it's not like I'm just ramming it in there and ignoring the signals she sends me. So I feel like it's something else. Also when we do successfully have sex, it doesn't feel passionate to me, or personal. It just kind of feels like we're both fulfilling some sort of need, and it's not a romantic thing.
Any thoughts on what it could be? She's not on birth control, we just use condoms. Could she maybe be unsure about the relationship? I'm pretty sure she's attracted to me, because she tells me that sort of thing all the time. So I'm not thinking it's like she's repulsed by me or something either. My gut tells me that it has to do with something more than just going against her beliefs though.
Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
Comment on Wondergirl's post
We use condoms and pull out, lol. I know it's not perfect but it's pretty safe. Condoms for precum and just in case, and I pull out to be sure.
Comment on Wondergirl's post
Yeah, but you can't compare your generation to ours either. Religious ties are a lot looser for most. You might be shocked to see how many kids start having sex as soon as middle school. Most of my friends had by freshman year. I think we did good.