13 year old daughter refuses to go to school?
Hello,
My 13 year old daughter is an extremely stubborn and rebellious child. She gets angry and anxious very easily and we are currently looking to get her into sessions with a Marriage Family Therapist. She has no fear of any type of law (she doesn't wear the seatbelt if she is angry) and thinks her father will get her out of everything and bend rules for her as he has spoiled her in the past. She has been in an area that is far from us as she was in the GATE program and now she has made friends that I have never really seen and she uses profanity against me.
She will be going into 9th grade next year. However, she wants to go to School X (which is near where she went to Junior High School and a lot of her friends will be going there). We live about 5 miles away from that area and it is in quite a run-down/"ghetto" area. However, her transfer request to that school was denied because School X is full. School Y is literally in front of our house and is within walking distance it is brand new and is in a better area (even with budget cuts, the school easily looks like a private high school). However, she says she will not leave her friends and will not go to School Y at all.
She is unwilling to accept the reality that her transfer request was denied and she thinks she can make a fit in front of the school counselors (who have visited our home when she refused to go to school on the last day of 8th grade) and they will convince the Child Welfare and Attendance (CWA) department to bend the rules somehow or she might throw a fit/be difficult and my husband might talk/bribe the CWA district office to accommodate her into the school of her choice.
The main reason she was in the area of school X was because she did her elementary in that area (because she was a GATE student). Her grades dropped after elementary and she was no longer in the GATE program. During the summer of 2008, she did the same thing with us. She wanted to go to the Junior High of her choice and would not budge. We tried to get her to go to a private junior high and she went for the test, but she said she would not go (she was less difficult and stearn than she is now).
However, now her friendship connections have gotten stronger and she is against going anywhere with us outside of the house at all. She only wants to go and be with her friends. By the way, her friends have never come to our house and she only goes to them with the movies, etc. She says that she will be truant and will demand that my husband quit his job to homeschool her if it comes to that.
The skye can fall to the ground for all she cares. She doesn't care about the fact that my mom just had a stroke (she is still living with us) but she will scream, yell, vandalize/damage our home until she gets what she wants. My husband bought her a bike a few months back just for exercise purposes, but when she gets angry at us, she takes it and says she won't come back. My husband then takes the car to go after her and tries to talk to her for a few hours and they don't come back until early in the morning.
I honestly don't know what to do at this point. School starts September 7th, and her response has not changed. What are our legal rights as parents? The orientation for freshman is on Wednesday at 8AM, and she is not waking up anytime before 12 PM (b/c she sleeps at 2AM since she is chatting/texting on laptop)these days because she is under the impression that everyone will have to give in to her tantrums and let her do whatever she wants. She is totally out of control and uses vulgar language as part of her dialogue with anyone (f-word, b-word, c*nt, etc.)
The orientation is not mandatory, but it will help to get things started on the right track for her when she starts school... should I push for her to go or call the police if she refuses.
On the first day of school, should I call the police and report her as truant if she does not go willingly. If she is so adamant for homeschooling, can the law require us to provide it to her by quitting our jobs? She has to be in school and there is no excuse for that... are there any private/millitary schools that we could possibly force her into. We are in the Anaheim, California area.
I am very concerned about talking to her myself on this matter as she completely looses control whenever she gets angry and has the ability to harm others or herself.
I am very scared about the coming weeks and I don't know what it will do to my other children. She is physically very strong and can pull off almost anything. She just doesn't accept that budget cuts,School X is full and she thinks that we purposefully orchestrated it so that she couldn't go.
However, she says that she will not go to school on Tuesday and that we will have to make her. She is kicking and screaming and crying. She is quite strong so it is going to be difficult to force her to go there. Is there any type of enforcement that I can lawfully use that would possibly benefit her? She thinks she can just be a truant and be homeschooled. But we can't do that. If she does end up going she is threatening to get herself expelled so that she won't have to go. I'm also afraid that she may not do her homework/assignments, etc.
I am so sorry for the long post, but I just needed to vent my concerns. I appreciate any advice.
Thanks,
Moria
{Moved From Family Law-<>}