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-   -   Why did he give me his number? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=257741)

  • Sep 7, 2008, 11:48 AM
    louise1200
    Why did he give me his number?
    I recently got bk in touch with an old mate at the time I was in a relationship, We have since split up and my mate has given me his number the day after me and the partner split. My mate has a missus too, but he told me if I'm ever over his way to look him up, He also told me to text him. My question is he flirted a little bit and gave me his number, Is he trying to be a good friend to me, or does he fancy me?
  • Sep 7, 2008, 11:55 AM
    BlakeCory
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by louise1200
    Does he fancy me?

    He might, a better question is “Do you fancy him?” From there you would have to decide if you fancy him enough to come between him and his girlfriend.

    Personally I would suggest waiting to jump right back into a relationship, especially if the guy you’re thinking about is with another woman.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 11:58 AM
    louise1200
    I do fancy him, but I'm deffo not the sort off person to go around breaking peoples relationships up and I'm not sure I'm resdy for another one yet. But at the same time I would love to spend some time with him as friends. But I'm not sure if he would like that.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:01 PM
    louise1200
    I also forgot to say that the night before this all happened, I dreamt that the guy I like had invited me to stay at his for the weekend and that he kissed me and it felt right. Was very weird considering the night after he gave me his number and I neva asked him for it. Just thought I should mention that.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:04 PM
    BlakeCory
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by louise1200
    I'm not sure if he would like [to spend time as friends.]

    If he really does like you he won’t mind just being your friend. Let him know that and it will avoid any complications later.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:09 PM
    louise1200
    Yea true, I do really like him though, he's a lovely guy. But I'm not sure what to do, I text him when he gave me his number, so he had mine, but I haven't spoke to him since.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:14 PM
    BlakeCory
    Sounds like you're starting to crush on him a bit. If you start hanging out with him you'll run the risk of coming between him and his girlfriend. (Which you said you didn't want to do)

    It sounded like your breakup was recent, if it was be careful to avoid rebounding to the next available guy. Make sure that it is a relationship that you want to be in and your not just using him (and he isn't using you) to feel better.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:19 PM
    louise1200
    No I'm not. The guy lives forty miles away, so we won't see each other much anyway. But I have lots off freiends that are taken, so I'm careful not to come between couples.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:24 PM
    BlakeCory
    Since he is so far away what worries do you have if he has started to fancy you?
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:36 PM
    louise1200
    The fact that he doesn't work too far away and he's asked me to pop by sumtime, and said he will always have time for a brew, plus I know I want to be with him, so I'm trying to steer clear off him, but at the same time I do miss talking to him
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:41 PM
    BlakeCory
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by louise1200
    The fact that he doesn’t work too far away and he’s asked me to pop by sometime, and said he will always have time for a brew, plus I know I want to be with him, so I’m trying to steer clear off him, but at the same time I do miss talking to him.

    Sounds like you have a good plan. When you are ready to talk to him limit it to the phone and see if you still feel the same way.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:43 PM
    louise1200
    Yea good idea, he's normally online but he's not tonight, so ill leave it for a bit,
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:48 PM
    talaniman
    Quit dancing around the truth, and admit you want something other than friends. The smart thing to do is not play games with yourself, and just leave him alone. Doubt if you do the smart thing though, so go ahead, and be friends... with benefits, or be his chick on the side. Friends huh, yeah right.

    Sorry to be harsh, but everybody knows what he wants from you, and it ain't friendship, so why are you wasting your time?????
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:50 PM
    louise1200
    Thts what I don't get, what does he want exactly,
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:54 PM
    talaniman
    A chick on the side, or else you'd be invited to meet his g/f. Don't put yourself in that position, just leave him alone.
  • Sep 7, 2008, 12:56 PM
    louise1200
    Really, I was hoping he wanted friendship or a relationship, and I do leave him alone, we usually talk on msn,
  • Sep 7, 2008, 01:15 PM
    BlakeCory
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by louise1200
    Really, i was hopin he wanted friendship or a relationship, n i do leave him alone, we usually talk on msn,

    Maybe he does, but he probably doesn't. Talaniman brings up a good point; if it was legit he would introduce you to his girlfriend.

    Worry less about what he is thinking and more about what you are thinking.

    You haven't realized your full feelings and that will lead you into more trouble. You are starting to play games with him and yourself. I don't think that's what you want to do, and if I'm right you shouldn't be pursuing him or let him pursue you.

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