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-   -   I've lost my way. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=84735)

  • Apr 20, 2007, 09:24 PM
    jai-patterson15
    I've lost my way.
    I moved over to Canada from England in August 2006 (15 years old). When I first got here I had a lot of female attention which I liked a lot because I felt wanted. But as months past Less and Less people liked me. Now, nobody has a crush on me or even looks at me in that way. I have lost all self confidences to even start to chat up girls. Any suggestions to get girls intrested in me again? :( thanks in advance.
  • Apr 20, 2007, 10:42 PM
    JoeCanada76
    At 15 years old. There will be friends that come and go. There will be girls that like you or do not like you. There is no need at this time to always have people giving you attention. It is not needed all the time. For you to want something so bad will just make the situation worst. Try to hard and you will push people away. Be yourself. Act yourself. Focus on school and your own hobbies. There is no need to lose yourself confidence. Just because right at this time people do not have crushes on you. How do you get girls interested. Just be yourself and just be a friend.

    Anytime you are not yourself or you act a certain way just to get a girls attention and they notice it is not the Real you then that can cause problems too.

    May I ask you another question. Did you always get attention by a lot of girls or just one? Maybe word got a around that you like attention by too many girls and the word got around? It is part of life and growing up to have times in your life where you just enjoy yourself without any attention from girls.

    Best wishes.

    Joe
  • Apr 20, 2007, 10:49 PM
    jai-patterson15
    It was about 5 girls who liked me
  • Apr 20, 2007, 10:50 PM
    JoeCanada76
    How did you handle that. Did you actually chose one, or did you try seeing many of them that liked you?
  • Apr 21, 2007, 04:47 AM
    EnglishRose
    When your new and exciting girls are going to be excited by this but that can't last forever, you have to be a normal guy eventually. I think you probably noticed this change and became less confident which will put girls off. It was probably your initial confidence that attracted them too. Stop worrying about getting attention and try to find a girl that you like and work on being confident (not cocky) around her.
  • Apr 22, 2007, 10:18 AM
    akms
    I don't know I'm 11 trans female to male witless and suicidel but if you try and be friends its not out of the blue so make friends who are girls
  • Apr 22, 2007, 01:01 PM
    jai-patterson15
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by akms
    i dont know im 11 trans female to male witless and suicidel but if you try and be freinds its not out of the blue so make freinds who are girls


    Sorry but I don't understand what your saying.
  • Apr 22, 2007, 01:58 PM
    Bluerose
    jai-patterson15,

    Sweetie, relax. I'm from London and have lots of relatives in Canada. People go mad for the English accent. You were a novelty. Now it's time to be the kind of guy that attracts the right kind of girl, and that usually means behaving like you don't care whether they talk to you or not. So instead of standing around drooling at the mouth you need to appear busy, mysterious and out of reach. You may have messed up back there enjoying them all rather than picking one in particular, so that you may now have a bit of a rep as a guy who plays around. It's not only guys who like the chase, girls do too. Let them come to you. But when they do, don't mess them around. You are trying to repair your rep not make it worse.
  • Apr 22, 2007, 04:45 PM
    talaniman
    A happy person with a positive attitude will always attract positive happy people. Give it time and be outgoing and don't hide your light, let it shine for all to see.
  • Apr 22, 2007, 04:51 PM
    shygrneyzs
    It sounds like you come off as a self centered person that cannot survive without being the focus of attention. So after the initial welcoming phase is over, you wonder where all your adoring fans went. They went on with their other friends and school and activities and possibly other people who are less high maintenance as you seem to be, as you portray yourself here by your own statements.

    My advice is to try and find your own niche. Develop interests that put in contact with your classmates - sports, school newpaper, yearbook, clubs in school (such as photography, debate, a language club, etc). Meet people where they are, not expect them to come to you all the time.
  • Apr 23, 2007, 05:38 PM
    akms
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jai-patterson15
    sorry but i don't understand what your saying.

    try becoming friends with some girls find out if u like them then try asking that girl out that way she will know you and maybe like you back either way she will be more likely to try.
  • Apr 23, 2007, 10:47 PM
    krittengirl
    [F]Don't try to impress them, be yourself. The kind of girl that is worth getting to know is one who likes you for who you are. If you start a relationship by trying to impress, it becomes harder to maintain as the relationship goes on, and you won't be happy continually trying to be who they want you to be.
    Which would you rather 1 girl who really likes you for you, or 5 who just like you for the image you portray?

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