OK, so I have 5 brothers all very different characters.

The oldest Martin, is 35yrs - outgoing, but also laid back, a good sense of humoursettle with kids and we get on well.

Darren is about 33yrs very quiet and has a shy factor, but has a great sense of humour, happilt married with children and when drawn out of his shell we get on well.

Phillip is 30yrs old, totally outgoing, great sense of humor and a ladies man (can't keep up, lol) - we get outstandingly well (more recently than in the past).

Lee is 23yrs old, single, very quiet, occasionally lacks confidence, and occasionally is loud & bubbley just like me (when he is around people he knows well). We don't get on at the best of times, only now and then - most of the time we argue like cats and dogs - I can simply say heloo what you been up to? And easilt get my head bitten off.

Then there is me 21yrs old, loud, bubbley, outgoing a good sense of humour and spontaneous, In a happy relationship.

Jake is 8yrs old. He is a typical child, we do get on - we just have a typical brother/sister relationship - but he is so cute and you cannot stay mad at him about anything for long, even when he is being naughty.

My question is - why is it I get on with all of brothers accept Lee. No matter how hard I try we always argue. There is only probably one or two days in a month where we will be pleasant to each other. Any other time we argue or get into really hostile discussions. I really don't understand and want to? I have often wondered is because we are so close in age? But the truth is we got on a lot better as kids that we do now as adults? I have always thought brothers and sisters are drawn closer and get on better as they get older? But I am started to think this is not the case? Anyone have any ideas??

Hi,
Getting along with others can be difficult at times; especially with all the brothers, sister, Aunts, Cousins, etc.
When you see him, have you tried to not start an argument? Or tried not to finish one?
If he comes at you with hostility or wants to start an argument, don't say anything. Just listen to him, you don't have to agree, but don't say anything to contradict what he is saying. Try it just once, see what happens.
Personalities are different, and when it comes to family, can sometimes be "at odds" with each other. Someone has to be the one who doesn't keep it going, why not you?
I do wish you the best of luck.

What are the arguments about? Anything repetitive? Is he jelouse of you for any reason? Ask him why he feels he has to argue with you all the time.

I have tried keeping quiet I have tried asking him why? I have tried everything - I never get a straight answer, he just mumbles and ends up walking off. He has the ability to be so hurtful sometimes, which is why I always end up fighting back. He has had me in tears before and once he lost his temper so bad he flug me up against a wall, then out of the room and I nearly went flying over the stair bannister. He was really upset after and I was frightened to e around him for a period. I just don't get it.

He is an introvert and I am an extrovert (although lately he has being going out a lot, and staying out late) I came home after work last night to find him fast asleep. - I never have trouble walking into a room and making friends and I get lots of attention from guys, especially being a female DJ. I try not to play on it though, for my boyfriends sake - being flirtatious is part of my personality and half the time I don't realise I am doing it.

In some ways we are similar - but majorly different in others. He has put on a lot of weight in recent years and I am wondering if that is a contributing factor?

Hi,
If you give him some time, he might reveal to you what the problem is. It could be jealously, could be anything. Since you are a very outgoing person, liked by most everyone, could he resent you for that fact?
Give him some time, be nice to him, and since nothing else has worked, why not give it a try? Just leave him alone for awhile, not arguing, and see what happens in a couple of months.
Sometimes, outgoing people tend to keep pressing issues, (such a door-to-door salespeople! ) But, when left alone, these issues might just resolve themselves. I am not saying you are doing this, but it could be something to think about.

Cheers - I will give it a try!! Fingers crossed.

Have you tried to do something with him. I mean almost like a date (without the romance of course) Go to a movie, a bar, a ballgame, dinner. Maybe that will open him up some. Let him have fun with you and your other brothers. Take your eight year old brother to an amusement park. Get everybody together and having fun.

Well, at xmas my brothers and I went to my dads for lunch. My boyfriend was there too. We all had a great time, and lee was taking the mickey out of me as my other brothers were and I was taking the mickey out of him.

I was alone with him once whilst setting up disco equipment. I treid to make him laugh (the same way I make out mutual friends laugh) although I could see a mirk, I could also see how well he was trying to ignore me and keep a straight face. I even went down town and bought him a take out for tea (my treat) and ran a couple of errins for him.

But any other time when my mum is around he will just argue with me, or if we are out with friends, whether it be our mutual friends or separate - he will do his best to ignore me. If I go up and speak to him, he looks at me like I am a complete sdtranger and should not even be engaging in conversation with him and is quick to walk off. I feel like he is embarrassed by me half the time.

I think it is the other way around. I think he is jealous of the attention you get from your Mama (sorry from south Georgia) and your friends. Ask them in private to pay him a little more attention and maybe make a point to show they are interested in his life and what he does.

I guess that's possible. Although I have never noticed my mum treating us unfairly or different.

It doesn't matter if you have noticed it. He may have or at least felt that he has. Give it a shot and let me know what developes.

Ok - I will give everything you and Fredg have suggested a go. I have trie3d everything else, so I have nothing to lose. Hoepfully I will have everything to gain by doing this.

Thank you for listening & understanding ;)

Good luck. Family bonds are very important. Life is too short to have too many regrets. But we all have them.

I agree :)

It seems as though he is going through his own set of issues that may have nothing to do with you. I have been around people with these kinds of personalities in the past, and it always hurts more when its someone you love. My husband is one of theses personalities. If he was going though any stress or any sort of issues (with himself) he would take it out on me and was withdrawn and down right cruel sometimes. It almost ruined our marrige. When I go though stress or something emotional I tend to vent or talk to someone about it and not keep it bottled up. My husband is the opposite. He actually had to go on medication because he eneded up being diagnosed as a Manic depressive, and that is a chemical imbalance. Hes doing much better now that he has something to level out his moods. Im not a huge supporter of drugs and I was apprehensive of it at first but it really helped. Maybe that could be what is going on with your brother.

Your brother being introverted that he is, sounds like he's dealing with some very real problems that he needs to address. Whether they are about you or his life in general, because these outbursts are manifesting into some very angry moods. And that isn't good. I would try talking to other members of your family and see if you guys as a group can talk to him. Is there someone in your family that he is especially trusting with? Or very close to? You could have them talk to him. If ultimately he just continues on this road of anger and resentment with little regards to your feelings. Then I would just back off, and maybe when he's ready to talk then be there for him.Until then I wouldn't try to confront him anymore about it. Hope all works out okay.

Anything is possible. Will definitely give it some thought an observe to see if there is a pettern emerging.

Yeah he might have something going on in his head that makes him act that way like the others said. I get along better with my half brother than I do my real brother and my real brother is the one I went through stuff with you'd figure wed be closer but nope.

Well all 4 of my other brothers are half brothers and lee is my whole brother and the one I went through most things with. So I know where you are coming from.

Sometimes our siblings act weird and no matter how you try they seem to be in a world of their own.To this day me and my younger(he hates to be called little brother)brother get into it at least once a day for no reason most times making for some awkward moments but since he's the only brother I have I just pass it off.Recently he told me pretty much the same thing so we just shrugged and went about our business,My point is no matter the friction,Doen't matter if your not all lovey dovey,its enough to know your siblings and love each other and be there for each other!:cool: ;)

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Sometimes our siblings act weird and no matter how you try they seem to be in a world of their own.To this day me and my younger(he hates to be called little brother)brother get into it at least once a day for no reason most times making for some awkward moments but since he's the only brother I have I just pass it off.Recently he told me pretty much the same thing so we just shrugged and went about our business,My point is no matter the friction,Doen't matter if your not all lovey dovey,its enough to know your siblings and love each other and be there for each other!:cool: ;)

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Thank you tallaniman - that's a very good way of putting it.