My daughter in law has verbally assaulted me more than once and no one - not my son (her husband), my adult daughter, nor my ex-husband (with whom I have had a wonderful relationship for the 20+ years that we have been divorced) - has confronted her. In fact, it appears that they all are under her spell and cater to her. My ex is taking everyone, his girlfriend, our son, dgtr. DIL, children, AND their nanny on a holiday cruise and they invited me to join them. I would be the only one who paid for herself, as everyone else would be the guest of the ex. The DIL called me at the end of September to tell me, among other horrible things, that I was "nothing but trouble", etc. etc. etc. and that she didn't want me to go on the cruise. Two days later the ex called to "disinvite" me, and told me that the DIL proudly told him that she had previously "blasted" me on the phone. Needless to say, I am not going on the cruise, and am no longer speaking to the ex. The DIL's mother (with whom she has a hot-cold relationship) called to apologize for her daughter's "craziness". I live 250 miles from my son and his wife and at least once each month for the past 3 years, I have helped them with babysitting with their 2 young children, my grandchildren. I will never say that I am perfect but I have intentionally stayed out of my son's marriage 99% of the time. That 1% when I interfered (it had to do with abandoning issues with my infant grandson), I apologized in writing and on the phone for that to my daughter in law. I feel like I have lost my son and my daughter who are going on, acting like nothing has happened, although my son did say to me that the DIL's problems with me are 100% her issues and have nothing to do with anything that I have done. Feeling like my son and daughter have chosen to side with the DIL has caused me so much pain that I would be tempted to write them all out of my life but I do not want to lose my grandchildren, whom I adore and who love me dearly in return. I am not remarried and I can't help but wonder if I had a husband, would they still treat me so poorly? I am trying to take care of my soul in a healthy way but I am having a very hard time. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions for me?