Difficult Daughter-in-Law
I need some advice. I have a granddaugher that lives in another state with her mother. My son (the father) is married and lives about 45 minutes from me. He was never married to his daughter's mother, and has never paid child support, but his daughter visits him every christmas and during the summer. My son's wife has 2 children from her first marriage, has joint custody with their father, but he does not pay any child support, so therefore my son supports her and her children (she does not work). My granddaugher gets to come down for the summer every year (she will be 7) and has been here for christmas the last two years. I usually get to see her maybe 4-6 days while she is here, and maybe 2 days by herself because of the other children. Any clothes, toys, etc. that she receives while here has to be left at her daddy's house (stepmom's rule). If she gets winter clothes at christmas, she will send them home the following christmas and by then she has outgrowed them. The same is true for the summer, if she gets new clothes, they stay at her house until the next year, then they are send home (and my granddaugher can't wear them). My daugher-inlaw and son has not stepped foot in my home in a year. And I never get to see her children except when my granddaugher is here. They do not make an effort to celebrate holidays with us, it is always with her family or my son's father and his family.
My one weekend alone last year ended in the huge fight because I took my granddaugher to get her picture made, and she gave her daddy something for father's day.
I am planning to take my granddaughter to walt disney world in may, but my daugher-in-law is very upset because I am not including her 2 children. She and my son are saying I am totally wrong by just carrying one and not the other two. I have ok'd this trip with my granddaugher's mother and feel my son and his wife have not right to dictate to me whether I can take my granddaugher on a trip or not. If my son supported his child, and if his wife would make me feel part of the family, I might would do different. Am I totally offbase and wrong to do something special for my granddaughter?