Have everything but feel ugly insecure and talentless
Hi all. Thanks for reading this.
Well.. I'm a 18 year old girl. I come from a wealthy family and can buy anything I want go anywhere I want. I study in one of th top colleges in my country. People also always tell me tt I'm pretty,hot,sexy and guys always check me out and ask me out all th time. Not only boys, but girls also say they love how I look and my style and always ask me for such kind of advice.
But, why do I still feel so unhappy with myself?
When I look at myself, I see so many flaws. I hate myself and I feel talentless too. Although I've excelled in diff forms activities and hobbies, it feels to me like it's all little insignificant achievements in various fields tt amount t nth in th end. Like, I don't seem t have an innate talent like people around me all have.
My boyf is gorgeous and he's really musically inclined and is in a band tts doing better and better too. And he always talks about why people like celebs like Paris Hilton for example who have no talents. Or how girls who just club a lot and are very pretty have no talents but are famous. But then, he has also said tt he is a very shallow person and cares a lot about looks. This makes me so insecure because I feel I have neither.. I know if my boyfriend is with me and loves me so much, I must fulfill those 2 criteria but I can never keep this in my he'D for long.. I end up hating myself again..
U know.. it's like I feel I have to always look extremely pretty. All the time. I hate my legs I hate my hair I hate my face.. everytime I see a girl who's pretty or if my boyfriend says some girl is really great at singing/guitar and hot too I get so depressed..
I've tried t learn th guitar before and can play simple stuff but it's not as though I don't love music, I do so much! But even till now, I just seem to suck at it? It's useless. I can't be good at anything..
I hate myself so much.. I've so many imperfections and I don't think I can ever succed in life and be th kind of person I aspire to be..
I'm even going for a nose job soon because I think my nose is so large and I hate it a lot.. my boyfriend supports this too.
I want to feel genuinely happy.. I want to feel like I can go out, look like crap, and all my frens and boyfriend and ppll around me will still like me for who I am...