I am 46 years old, and never have figured out why my mother is mean, selfish, and frankly is a liar for no apparent reason. When my brother passed away 10 years ago, she said there was no will, or probate deal. Come to find out... he DID have a $100,000 estate which she has denied. My siblings and I cannot figure out why though. We are all self supporting,responsible adults that never need her help financially. She is so selfish she refused to see her grandson before he died (he lived about 2 weeks, and the only thing she was upset about was being asked to watch my other child so I could be with the critically ill one. She insisted I come and take him to another sitter, and while I was gone, my ill child passed away alone... then all she said was you are better off anyway. She and my father never paid a dime for any college education or weddings, prom dress etc. My brother had to get a job to pay for college, then she wanted his money for rent. He was still a teenager. Now she cannot understand why my siblings and I want nothing to do with my parents at all. She recently requested that I spend the holidays with her only, and not have my children or grandchildren there! She never buys a Christmas or birthday gift, even a $2 or $3 one, because she says she is poor, but she spends HUNDREDS mothly to play bingo. For years my sister felt sorry for her being poor, bought her lunch out weekly, miniature golf etc, then we find out she has over $600,000 in the bank, and has not had debts for years! We live in Missouri CHEAP ECONOMY! But my father who has COPD and breathes at 19% lung capacity had no inhaler last month, had an attack, mom knocked on neighbors door for his asthma inhaler because she complains dads is too expensive to buy. Any suggestions would be helpful! Thanks for listening, I know this sounds kind of nutty.

Sounds like she is very cheap and only thinks of herself. If this lady told me that I could only come and do not bring any of my children with me. I would be @#$% you. That is my family and I do not need to see you at all. Cutting all ties, when you figure out what is important. Then maybe I will consider being part of your life. Until then I am going to focus on my own family and do not really need you to be part of it.

Many families fight over money, and if everybody new about all the money then the whole family would be fighting.

If what you want is love, caring and somebody who enjoys company of others. Then I would say to you that money is not an issue with you eighter.

Another question somebody else might ask is are you pissed off because the estate was not shared. It went all to your mother? If yourself reliant and your mother is the way she is then this should not matter to you. Right!

Joe

All I can add to Joe's comment is "don't be like your mother." I know you probably are not, but that is the only solice you will ever be able to have because she will probably never see how wrong she is. All you can do here is forgive her to heal your own pain. I know that is hard, but think about it sometime when you are feeling the anger and resentment towards your mom. I wonder, too, how a person ends up this way- what did she go through as a child? She is hoarding money for some reason- she doesn't spend it on anything but Bingo? There are some mental issues there...

So just don't have anything to do with her, call her once a week because she is your mom and go on with your life.

We can not make or force people to be the way we would like them to be.

I did not see my mother for almost 4 years on time, and after my current wife and I got married, we were married 7 years before my wife ever meet her.

I said this earlier for someone else, you can pick your friends but you are stuck with your family.

Mom's... wow! They can be such a trip. She will most likely always be the type of person that she has been in the past (barring a miracle). She will most likely always give you what she has given you in the past, and you have most likely seen her best. I do believe in miracles; but, I wouldn't hold my breath. Who your mom is has nothing to do with your worth. I just want to make sure you know that. When you ask for suggestions, I hope it isn't about how to change your mother...cus we can really only change ourselves. I think it helps to go into a situation knowing what to expect. I know this helped me in dealing with my mother. barbara

Sometimes it is just best to walk away, my mother does not have anything to do with my children. I just recently lost my baby due to miscarriage and she told me God gives and takes away and that I need to make changes in my life, well I am and it does not include her. I have put up with many years of being alone and always being wrong that it just does not matter anymore. What does matter is that I show my kids I love them and in the end I'm being the best mom that I can be and that is the best feeling

"It's taken me 60 years to come to the conclusion that my mother will never be happy. When I consider my relationship with my daughter I feel a great sadness for her that she (my mother) never experienced that closeness. She only ever taught me one thing in her life and that was how never to treat your children."

Blood should not be thicker than self preservation:
"It's taken me 60 years to come to the conclusion that my mother will never be happy. When I consider my relationship with my daughter I feel a great sadness for her that she (my mother) never experienced that closeness. She only ever taught me one thing in her life and that was how never to treat your children."

My mother is the worst person I ever met in my life, whenever I feel bad about her I go to these sites on the internet to feel better, I consider people with such mothers the most unlucky and lonely (so to speak) people on earth.

My mother is manipulative, needy, she is a liar, she bad mouths her children, she imprisoned her son in law for a day accused him to the police of beating her and having drugs in his possession, and then we all understood she was the one to set it up. She is very critical of other people and her children, she is mean to my father underestimates him so much, and her daughters. She is just a bad mother, person and so self centered that it makes me sick sometimes. We always thought she was crazy, irrational and with a temper but as a grew older and became a mother myself I understood that she is also a bad person and couldn't understand her at all. How she could be so mean and selfish with her own children. I went through guilt trips for many many years that's how she controlled us , but now thank God I am finally free of her criticism, her acceptance, her manipulations, I don't trust the woman enough and I surely do not respect her. I only feel sorry for her and I ignore her and do as I please as she did for as long as I can remember. So please do not feel guilty such mothers should be put away somewhere to improve. The fact that I still talk to her is more than enough, but I will do what I want from now on and protect myself, she won't. And what I have described of her and her actions is just a small portion, so children of these mothers do as you feel and STOP FEELING GUILTY , THEY SHOULD FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING SO INADEQUATE AND SELFISH. AND MOST OF ALL OUR MOTHER DO NOT OWN US. The only good thing I learned from her is to be the exact opposite of how she was with me and my sisters so something good did come out of it.