Ask Me Help Desk - Self harm, vegetarianism and a long distance relationship.

Okay... a few issues here in my somewhat messy life.
1st question
Is it like... really that bad that I cut myself? Its not on the part of the wrists where all the veins are, its on the other side... its only really because the pain feels kind of nice.
Also quite nice having a hot shower, the burny feeling on the cuts when they have hot water on them is nice.
Other people see it as an issue... but I don't really see any danger or problem in it.
Is it really a problem that I need to fix? Or something I don't really need to worry about among all the other stuff.

Okay, second thing
I don't really think I can do the whole eating meat thing anymore... it makes me kind of guilty, just the fact that an animal died for human pleasure kind of makes me feel wrong, like I just killed sum1. We had rat dissections in human bio, and I was really feeling so terrible and freaking out, and there was a pregnant one and they cut out all the little embryos, there were 15 of them and yer... anyone know what I can do? I hate talking to my parents, but unfortunately the only healthy way to go vegetarian would be to involve them... and they will just laugh at me...

3rd thing (sorry for wasting your valuable time)
I kind of got into a long distance relationship with a chick who lives in america
She's got a lot of the same issues as me, and she is in hospital because she lost a lot of blood when she cut her veins
She means the world to me, it kind of hurts not being with her in person, but she means so much to me, and she feels the same way towards me.

Just sort of putting some issues out there... I felt you guys mite be able to help, or at least deserve to know...

To my beliefs cutting yourself is satanic, where did u get these desires? I am astound of what u have wrote. Actually you left me speechless for a moment

"Sooner or later you heal or you die"

This it's a lyric form a song that made me realise you can't go on self harming indefinitely. I think the problem with continual self harm is you are not dealing with the problems that are causing it. If you don't sort theses problems out they don't go away they just get worse and manifest themselves in the only coping mechanism that works for you -self harm. You have seen this happen to your girlfriend. This is where the problem and the danger lays.

You need to work out your triggers - avoid them like the plague. Work on other coping mechanisms. Right once you have some control over yourself harm (I'm sorry but at the moment it is controlling you) start work on why you do it.

You probably know this already, let this be the wake up call you need.

As for vegetarianism can't help you there I'm afraid!

Third prob- I really wouldn't recommend such a long distance relationship at your age, but once you have feelings I don't know how you make them go away. I'll leave this to the relationship people.

I have one last thought - if you can show your girlfriend thatyou can overcome your desires to self harm then you might give her hope that so can she. She sounds like she is in a bad way, perhaps by heloing yourself you can help her as well.

Good luck to you Cal
Hang in there sweetie!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cal823

okay...a few issues here in my somewhat messy life.
1st question
is it like.........really that bad that i cut myself? its not on the part of the wrists where all the veins are, its on the other side....its only really coz the pain feels kinda nice.
also quite nice having a hot shower, the burny feeling on the cuts when they have hot water on them is nice.
other people see it as an issue....but i dont really see any danger or problem in it.
is it really a problem that i need to fix? or something i dont rlly need to worry about among all the other stuff.

okay, second thing
i dont really think i can do the whole eating meat thing anymore.....it makes me kinda guilty, just the fact that an animal died for human pleasure kinda makes me feel wrong, like i just killed sum1. we had rat dissections in human bio, and i was really feeling so terrible and freaking out, and there was a pregnant one and they cut out all the little embryos, there were 15 of them and yer.......anyone know what i can do? i hate talking to my parents, but unfortunatly the only healthy way to go vegetarian would be to involve them.................and they will just laugh at me.........

3rd thing (sorry for wasting your valuable time)
i kinda got into a long distance relationship with a chick who lives in america
shes got alot of the same issues as me, and she is in hospital coz she lost alot of blood when she cut her veins
she means the world to me, it kinda hurts not being with her in person, but she means so much to me, and she feels the same way towards me.

just sorta putting some issues out there....i felt you guys mite be able to help, or at least deserve to know.....................

Cal,
I agree with templelane.
Self harm is the sign of a huge problem you are not dealing with or you do not even want to think about.
And it is not about cutting a vein or not.
It is harmful to your body in anyway,either hitting,cutting,abusing substances or any other method which physically harms your body.

About vegetarians,
It is possible to be a vegetarian if you have a balanced diet of all the right food.
From what you are saying, are you sure you can be bothered to think about everything you eat among all the other things you have on your mind.http://bob-world.net/Images/food_pyramid.gif
And eating meat is not just for pleasure-
It provides essential vitamins needed by the body.

Long distance relationships are hard enough, and in your case both of you have your own troubles to deal with.
These problems can either be solved together or both of you maybe making more problems for each other.
As templelane said, why not try giving up self harm to show your girl that it can be done.Hopefully she will realise that she needs to seek help too.

Cal,I do hope you will seek professional help somewhere before everything escalates.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cal823

is it like.........really that bad that i cut myself?
other people see it as an issue....but i dont really see any danger or problem in it.
is it really a problem that i need to fix? or something i dont rlly need to worry about among all the other stuff.

I think you have the start of your own answer here with your third issue... she is in hospital because she lost a lot of blood when she cut her veins. My daughters old boyfriend use to cut himself 'to release his pain' and because he felt 'he deserved the punishment' these are not normal healthy thoughts. You either need to really evaluate the issues WHY you cut yourself and overcome it or seek a professional that can get you to realize you need to stop as well as why and how. It is not a simple matter of if it feels good do it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cal823

okay, second thing
i dont really think i can do the whole eating meat thing anymore.....it makes me kinda guilty, just the fact that an animal died for human pleasure kinda makes me feel wrong, like i just killed sum1.

I had a problem with the guilt thing a couple years ago I kept having nightmares (long sickening story) I kept eating meat though cause I don't like nuts, a lot of vegetables or a lot of the vegetarian foods.
If you want to be a vegetarian you need to find healthy things to compensate your protein and so forth. Like you will need to eat lots of nuts, peanut butter, whole grain foods, legumes, omega 3 (fish oil or flax seed oil)

Quote:

Originally Posted by cal823

3rd thing (sorry for wasting your valuable time--you aren't)
i kinda got into a long distance relationship with a chick who lives in america
shes got alot of the same issues as me, and she is in hospital coz she lost alot of blood when she cut her veins
she means the world to me, it kinda hurts not being with her in person, but she means so much to me, and she feels the same way towards me.

Keep talking with the girl and be friends and try to help each other get over the 'cutting' thing. One day when you are older and you still want to meet hopefully if it is meant to be it will happen.
Time has a way of working things out we are the ones that usually mess it up trying to make things happen

Yes cutting yourself is a sign of some very, very serious emotional and mental issues. You need to talk to your parents, school teacher or someone and get professoinal help

Of course I don't eat rats, but disecting any animal is brutal and I hate it.
And not eating meat is great if that is what you want to do, I did it for a couple of years. But that Big Mac was just too much to resist

Well long distance friends can be great, but at a early age, and 1000's of miles away, often friends is all it will really be. But having friends you can share with is very important

Thank you all so very much... good advice... ill try to take it all on board.
Don't know where id be without all the helpful people on this site.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cal823

thank you all so very much..................good advice.....ill try to take it all on board.
dont know where id be without all the helpful ppl on this site.

Cal,
All of us are here if you still need to talk about anything.
We just hope you will make the right decision and not harm yourself.

If possible get some professional help if you feel you cannot do it on your own.

Your all such wonderful and beautiful people :) thank you so much for your support... I hope I can do the right thing.

You are wonderful yourself, you just need to find your path to happiness.