I just got married about four monthes ago and now my says she believes this other guy is her "soul mate" but she doesn't divorce, I don't even know how to aproach the topic of him her and our marriage now. I still love her and want to be with her forever so what should I do?

Soul mate (ha-ha) this simple term has been distorted and romanticized into this wonderful yet unrealistic dream of finding your ideal mate. Foolish for us to believe we are looking for a soul mate, and naturally we assume that this person is going to sweep us off our feet. However some people definition of a soul mate differs, maybe you should find out what her definition of soul mate is. Is it romantically or a spiritual idea of a connection. Maybe she is finding something lacking and looking to accommodate it by this "soul mate" connection. I really do not know her intentions but you need to ask questions.

Why would you want to stay with a woman that tells you that she is in love with someone else? Help her pack her bags and send her out the door. Change the locks and file for divorce. IF you were to stay in this loveless relationship no one would ever be happy. I am not an advocate of divorce, but 4 months in is better than 4 years and a couple of kids.

The term soul mate should have never been termed. A marriage is what you put into it and your ideas of what both intend to achieve in your life together. I do not know how long the two of you dated but just being married four months is not enough time to adjust to married life. It takes years and everyday builds your marriage. Maybe she is just nerves about being married and also realizing that her life as being single is over. She is starting a new chapter in life and maybe this scares her. Sit down and talk together, see what you both expect out of each other and take it one day at a time. You may ever try marriage counseling before giving up on one another. I have been married seven years and everyday is a new experience together. It takes work and TIME. Hang in there hope this helps. Best of luck, it is a wonderful life experience, enjoy it.

I realize you may love her, but you are worth more than staying with someone who doesn't love you the way that you love her. As hard as it may be, move on with your life. Find someone who can/will give you the love that you deserve.

Until she actually walks out the door, which you imply may be imminent, you keep going on your marriage. The only control you have is YOU. Keep that control, honor and cherish and praise and laugh and plan things and console and do all the things a loving/committed husband does.

Don't give up, but don't move into desperate whiny mode, either. Be a man. Defend your family.

If necessary, contact the man and ask for his help keeping your wife's focus off him since she has made the choice to be with you but may be weak, ask him to step up and exercise some good character. It may help, it may not, worth a try.

These are the times that try men's souls. You may not win here. You have to work out your mind and heart on that NOW. You don't have to be guaranteed a win to go for it, though. You go for it no matter what... especially since she is YOUR wife.