I am 20 years old and I am married. I love being married and I think it is the best decision I have ever made. My husband and I met when we were 12 years old and were great friends since then. We started dating at 17, got engaged on our 6 month anniversary, and got married about a year and a half later (which was about 6 months ago). My parents went through a pretty nasty divorce when I was 11 so since then I was unsure whether or not I would ever want to get married until Marc and I started dating. I knew right away that he was the one. We moved out of our parents house's into an apartment together when we were 18, and soon after had the wedding plans in order.
I've been married for 6 monhs now and I am loving every bit of it. We have a strong marriage, and our families support us 100%. The problem is, is that I get a lot of unwanted comments (some from people I don't even know) who judge us by the fact that we are young and married. Most people are great about it, it is just the rare few who tells me things that get on my nerves like "was it because you got pregnant?" For those wondering we don't have kids yet(It is not in the plans for another few years). Or "isn't there things you would like to accomplish in life before getting married?" Can someone please tell me what I can't accomplish while being married. I can still do anything a single person can, the only difference is that I have someone to hold hands with along the way!! How can I stop these comments??

Ignore it. I got married five years ago at 21, and when I tell people how long I've been married I almost always get a weird look or a "Wow! You were young!" I just smile and nod. I'm not ashamed to be married, I'm not ashamed at the age I got married, and I didn't do it because of a surprise pregnancy either. So my advice is to tell people you are married, happy, and wouldn't have it any other way. :)

Why are you letting this comments bother you so much if you know it is not true? Or are you letting this comments get to you because maybe you have this slight doubt in the back of your mind that maybe they are right in a way?

I do not mean to make you second guess yourself but I am just curious. You have a strong marriage and commitement no matter what anybody says to you, just keep working on keeping it strong and that is all you need to do. Do not even worry or think about comments made from other people. They do not know you or your situation and quite honestly maybe these people are jealous that your doing so well. Just make sure you too know that even though things are so well now does not mean they will always be that way. The real test in your marriage are when your going through really rough times, how you work through them and get over those bumps which will determine how much stronger your marriage is or the other way.

Congrats by the way and I do wish you both a happy long marriage especially knowing what you went through when you were young with your parents I am sure you do not want that to happen and I personally know all about that as well.

P.S. You can not control peoples comments. It is something that you will have to learn not to bother you. Especially if your marriage is so strong what does it matter what others say, right?

Joe

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jillianleab

Ignore it. I got married five years ago at 21, and when I tell people how long I've been married I almost always get a weird look or a "Wow! You were young!" I just smile and nod. I'm not ashamed to be married, I'm not ashamed at the age I got married, and I didn't do it because of a surprise pregnancy either. So my advice is to tell people you are married, happy, and wouldn't have it any other way. :)

---

I a not ashamed either. I don't regret getting married at all, I just think it is so stupid that people think young marriage can't work out. Marc's parents got married at 19 and they are still together after 28 years now! Its been great for them. I don't know why people are so shocked by it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Why are you letting this comments bother you so much if you know it is not true? Or are you letting this comments get to you because maybe you have this slight doubt in the back of your mind that maybe they are right in a way?

I do not mean to make you second guess yourself but I am just curious. You have a strong marriage and commitement no matter what anybody says to you, just keep working on keeping it strong and that is all you need to do. Do not even worry or think about comments made from other people. They do not know you or your situation and quite honestly maybe these people are jealous that your doing so well. Just make sure you too know that even though things are so well now does not mean they will always be that way. The real test in your marriage are when your going through really rough times, how you work through them and get over those bumps which will determine how much stronger your marriage is or the other way.

Congrats by the way and I do wish you both a happy long marriage especially knowing what you went through when you were young with your parents I am sure you do not want that to happen and I personally know all about that as well.

P.S. You can not control peoples comments. It is something that you will have to learn not to bother you. Especially if your marriage is so strong what does it matter what others say, right?

Joe

---

Thanks. From what you said, I don't have any doubt. None at all, It's other peoples doubt that gets on my nerves. But thanks for your response.

Actually I've known plenty of people who were married by the time they were 20. When a marriage doesn't work out I don't necessarily believe that it was due to the ages of the bride and groom. I reiterate what the others have told you ; just smile and say how happy you are and that things are working out wonderfully.

Wait until you have a baby! Than you will get even more pushy comments: "Your baby looks cold" and "Your baby looks too warm" and "When will you have another one?" and "Is he normal? Why are his eyes so close together?" and "He's sure bald" (or hairy)...

Like Jesushelper said, you can't stop people from commenting. Just smile brightly and thank them for their concern or comment and maybe say you'll keep their words in mind (if that would be appropriate) and then go on your way.

MJL,

Welcome to my world! Savor these days because as sure as day follows day, some days will be filled with unpleasantness. Nothing that you can't handle but they will give you pause.

Good answer

Hi MJL, firstly a belated congratulations!! I got married when I was 19 (ha ha I was younger (",). And yes still married, but you will find that people can be idiots and it is probably because they are jealous.....for example at a school reunion when i had been married 7 years, an idiot I hadnt seen since we left school (and whom i wasnt even talking to) was listening to a conversation i was having with a friend and when i said i had been married 7 years, the fore mentioned idiot said "you know what they say about the 7 year itch".This was such a crappy thing to say, but some people ARE crappy!! Also with regards to going through life with someone holding your hand, this is so true, my husband is the reason I went to college and then university and (as well as our children) was the motivation for me finishing my course and graduating. Contrary to people's (the ones that you have mentioned) belief that once you are married you can't aspire to reach your goals or in a way you are then limited. This is not the case, I am a wife, a mother,a graduate, a teacher and I like to think a well grounded person!! Which I have accomplished whilst being married... Ignore their jealousy, you live your life and accomplish your goals!!
Blessings
Kiki

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjl

I am 20 years old and I am married. I love being married and I think it is the best decision I have ever made. My husband and I met when we were 12 years old and were great friends since then. We started dating at 17, got engaged on our 6 month anniversary, and got married about a year and a half later (which was about 6 months ago). My parents went through a pretty nasty divorce when I was 11 so since then I was unsure wether or not I would ever want to get married until Marc and I started dating. I knew right away that he was the one. We moved out of our parents house's into an apartment together when we were 18, and soon after had the wedding plans in order.
I've been married for 6 monhs now and I am loving every bit of it. We have a strong marriage, and our families support us 100%. The problem is, is that I get a lot of unwanted comments (some from people I don't even know) who judge us by the fact that we are young and married. Most people are great about it, it is just the rare few who tells me things that get on my nerves like "was it because you got pregnant?" For those wondering we don't have kids yet(It is not in the plans for another few years). Or "isn't there things you would like to accomplish in life before getting married?" Can someone please tell me what I can't accomplish while being married. I can still do anything a single person can, the only difference is that I have someone to hold hands with along the way!!!!! How can I stop these comments?!?!?!?!?!

---

If they ask you why got married young... tell them is it better to say boy friend and afetr six month another boyfriend is that what will make them happy.. and why you worry about people... respect people... but try to keep your home alive and happy... why it is weird to get merried young is,you might get tired of it quick... and you might hate it... so becarful stay happy treat your husband as if you met him today. And don't get mad. Don't suspect. And always smile when he comes home. And you will live forever.