Ask Me Help Desk - Crazy Mother in Law

My husband tells me stories about when he was little and his mom would burn his fingers with matches when he was bad. Three months ago, we had our 15 month old baby boy over their and his older cousin (who is 6) was picking on the baby and yelling at him. My husband told the kid to knock it off. Well, my inlaws would not speak to us for 2 months and took the older kid's side. My mother in law just returned from a week's stay in a mental hospital where they diagnosed her with depression. While their she wrote a long letter to her kids saying how they make her life miserable and cost her too much money. My mother in law is verbally abusive to her family, she yells all the time and uses the "F" word numerous times during a conversation. I do not want my baby around her, I do not feel that he is safe with his grandmother. My husband does not understand this. He stays home with the baby while I work and he has left our little one with his mom a few times. Although I tell him how I feel, he says that his mom still has the right to see his grandchild and continues to leave him over there alone. I don't know what to do because I am not home during the day to make sure he isn't left with his grandmother, and I can't seem to get through to my husband that it is not a safe environment for our child. Please help... :(

I would take the baby and run as far away as I could. Sounds like your husband is just like his mother if he can't see that she is dangerous then there is something wrong with him too!! She is crazy, go get help with a good child care and a court order for her not to come near your boy. I am completely serious here. Don't put yourself or your boy in harms way, how would you live with yourself if something did happen? This is all up to you because your husband has his head up his butt. I hope I don't sound too harsh but that baby can't help himself. Only you can.

Nicolette, why is your husband home taking care of the baby? I think the way to resolve this problem is to force him to get a full time job. Find a daycare that you are comfortable with. Even if your husband's salary is going toward paying for daycare, at least you have resolved the problem of getting your baby out of that situation and allowing you to be in control and monitor it. Right now, you are not. And, knowing the history, your baby is in danger. Your husband knows that what his mother did was not right but he is in denial and still looking for Mama's approval. What I am suggesting would resolve this problem, will keep your baby safe, will put you at ease, and will keep you from fighting with your husband and possibly divorcing him over this.

Isn't your Husband worried that she might hurt his child like he got hurt when he was young.
I think you should just take him to a daycare. He will be much safer there.

Good Luck :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicolette

My husband tells me stories about when he was little and his mom would burn his fingers with matches when he was bad. Three months ago, we had our 15 month old baby boy over their and his older cousin (who is 6) was picking on the baby and yelling at him. My husband told the kid to knock it off. Well, my inlaws would not speak to us for 2 months and took the older kid's side. My mother in law just returned from a week's stay in a mental hospital where they diagnosed her with depression. While their she wrote a long letter to her kids saying how they make her life miserable and cost her too much money. My mother in law is verbally abusive to her family, she yells all the time and uses the "F" word numerous times during a conversation. I do not want my baby around her, I do not feel that he is safe with his grandmother. My husband does not understand this. He stays home with the baby while I work and he has left our little one with his mom a few times. Although I tell him how I feel, he says that his mom still has the right to see his grandchild and continues to leave him over there alone. I don't know what to do because I am not home during the day to make sure he isn't left with his grandmother, and I can't seem to get through to my husband that it is not a safe environment for our child. Please help....:(

OK, Do not let this woman alone with your child! She clearly has a history of some type of personality disorder and abuse. Abuse because that is what I would call Burning someone's fingers with matches. She is dangerous and I would make it clear to your husband that she is NEVER to be alone with your child. If he Doesn't Get that then get to a counselor who will help him understand your concerns for your child's safety.

I once letf my 4 month old daughter home with my in-laws (who are wonderful people). They had placed her on my bed and she apparently rolled off and they NEVER TOLD ME! I had to hear it from my older daughter. I made is VERY clear to my husband that they are not to care for my children. He agreed.