Originally Posted by
starbuck8
I think you really need to sit down and ask yourself how you may have contributed to this. You have mentioned cooking dinner 5 days a week for your children, and have also said that you have initiated the lack of sexual relations with her. As the old saying goes, it doesn't matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides. What was your role in this?
I see from your words that it is a point of contention with you, that she doesn't have the education that you have. You seem to focus alot on the fact that she doesn't have the skills to get a well paying job. Did you perhaps let her know that you felt less of her because of her lack of formal education? I am getting that sense.
To say that the father is usually pushed to the side because of a new man, is presumptuous and a little pretentious. This is where people often use the children as an excuse to villify the other parent. This is NO EXCUSE not to be in your childrens lives, just as you had been before. Cooking dinner for your kids doesn't make you a Dad. Being there under the worst of circumstances makes you a Dad! Anyone can be a "father," but a "DAD" will put his own feelings aside to "ensure" that his children will know that he will be there for them, no matter what their mother does, or who their mother is with! That is entirely up to you, and it will entirely rest on your shoulders if your children start to call someone else "Daddy!"
I know that you are hurt, but you need to "man up" and do the right thing. You can't change how your wife behaves, but you can certainly change the way you handle this! Show your children that "Daddy" doesn't crumble and run away because Mommy has made a decision that you don't agree with. And for God sakes, please don't treat your step child differently than you do your bio children. Teach them all to hold their heads up high, no matter what circumstances or challenges they have to face in their young lives. That job was assigned to you when you had ALL of these children. This isn't just about you anymore. God blessed you with these kids. Don't disappoint them, because you are hurting because of their mothers decisions. Make your children your biggest success in life, and even though you don't agree with their mothers choices, showing their mother respect through the hurt, will silently speak more than words.