Originally Posted by
Synnen
No one said it was JUST you.
HOWEVER: I left my husband once. It was back when we were still dating. I went to my mother's for a week, with no notice--just the words, "I'm done. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk about how to get my stuff out of here".
He was shocked to the core.
Guess what, though? I'd been TRYING to talk to him about why I was unhappy for a couple months before then. He didn't REALLY listen to me. He had it all figured out, problems all solved, everything tied up nice and neat and hey presto! I was supposed to just be HAPPY with his solutions, because they were "what's best for US".
Well, I got sick of that attitude REALLY fast. HIS solutions didn't work for ME, even if they worked for US. I was bitterly unhappy, and saw him as the source of my unhappiness, even though I KNEW it was other things too. The thing is, though---I was resentful because he dictated how WE were going to handle the things in MY life that I thought were intolerable. One of the things HE decided was that WE were going to wait for something--and I finally decided that it wasn't worth being miserable with my job, and then coming home and being angry with HIM because HE decided that I'd have to stay at my horrible job for a YEAR more, so I was upset both at home AND at work. The only respite I got was going out with my friends.
I can't even begin to imagine how much worse that would have been if we'd had kids, and my job made it so that I hardly got to see them.
So yeah---because YOU dictated how it was going to be for BOTH of you, regardless how miserable it made her, even for just a "short time" like 6 months or a year, she left. At least then she could be angry with HERSELF for being unhappy instead of holding resentment against you for it.
In other words: Better the captain of a rowboat than a slave on a luxury liner.