My hair is already curly I just want to know what is best to use to keep it soft and not hard

I have very curly hair and so does my sister. We both have different ways to keep the crunchy gel look out. My sister showers at night puts the gel in and then goes to sleep. Somehow the pressure of her head on the pillow makes the crunch go away.
I find that this makes my hair look frizz and messy so I shower in the morning put gel in and when my hair drys I run my hands over it pressing till all the crunch brakes and my hair is soft. The problem with this is I have to walk around with wet and then crunchy hair before I get nice hair. You can try both ways.
Also if your hair is not very oily you can use a serum instead of a gel. These are like leave in conditioner that keep the frizz down while also holding your hair in little bit of shape. The problem with these is that they are kind of heavy and sometimes make your hair hang in oily clumps which to me seems infinitely worse then crunchy hair.

Use moisturizing shampoos and conditioners.
Keep your hair hydrated and stop using things like hairspray or gel.

Try different using only a leave in conditioner in your hair with a tad bit of mouse.

You can also use flexi-rods on your hair before bed or during the day:
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:...TFLEXIRODS.jpg
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:.../s400/rod3.jpg

Make sure you put in the leave in conditioner or some sort of frizz control before using the flexi-rods.

Good luck.

Sarah