What is required to obtain custody of my grandchild? I have kept my grandchild 3 days a week in my home since their birth (he is 2 years old now). In addition to this I keep him anytime that his mother deems she has something else to do, is too drunk, or just plain stressed out. I have provided for his clothes, shoes, all basic needs since his birth. She lives in her familys home that is less occupied by 13 additional family members. I pay for his preschool and the transportation to and from because his mother has a difficult time getting up and staying up in the morning and I was afraid that as he got older he would end up getting hurt while not being watched. He comes up with unexplained bumps and bruises some require stitching. His school and myself are documenting all negative. Issues. I have not tried a legal avenue yet because I am afraid that without enough information, she will win and I will not be allowed to him which would be devastating for him. Any information you can assist with would be helpful.

Thank You

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Etiner

What is required to obtain custody of my grandchild? I have kept my grandchild 3 days a week in my home since their birth (he is 2 years old now). In addition to this I keep him anytime that his mother deems she has something else to do, is too drunk, or just plain stressed out. I have provided for his clothes, shoes, all basic needs since his birth. She lives in her familys home that is less occupied by 13 additional family members. I pay for his preschool and the transportation to and from because his mother has a difficult time getting up and staying up in the morning and I was afraid that as he got older he would end up getting hurt while not being watched. He comes up with unexplained bumps and bruises some require stitching. His school and myself are documenting all neg. issues. I have not tried a legal avenue yet because I am afraid that without enough information, she will win and I will not be allowed to him which would be devestating for him. Any information you can assist with would be helpful.

Thank You

---

There are only two ways to go about this. Either your daughter can consent to give you custody of the child, or you'll have to fight her for it - which ever you choose, you're going to have to go through the state. Obviously, it would be much easier if she just consented to it but odds are that she won't.

Have you consulted with an attorney in your area? Some of them do free consultations so that you can at least get a good idea of what you're up against.

Has anyone contacted Child Protective Services? Does your daughter have any type of criminal record?

Well, first things first. She is not my daughter, she is my son's ex-girlfriend. My son will not fight her for custody although they are not together nor do they even like each other. I am unsure of her background legally. I do know that the living conditions are deplorable, my grandchild sleeps in a playpen and shares a room with 3 other people. I could just go on and on, very sad. I do have a feeling that it will come to a legal battle and I had really wanted to avoid that, I was hoping that I would not have to turn her into Child Services and be the instrument to separate them. I am afraid that it is coming to that. If I fight and lose, I could lose contact with my grandchild because there is no family tie between his mother an I except for the child.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Etiner

Well, first things first. She is not my daughter, she is my son's ex-girlfriend. My son will not fight her for custody although they are not together nor do they even like each other. I am unsure of her background legally. I do know that the living conditions are deplorable, my grandchild sleeps in a playpen and shares a room with 3 other people. I could just go on and on, very sad. I do have a feeling that it will come to a legal battle and I had really wanted to avoid that, I was hoping that I would not have to turn her into Child Services and be the instrument to seperate them. I am afraid that it is coming to that. If I fight and lose, I could lose contact with my grandchild because there is no family tie between his mother an I except for the child.

---

That's not entirely true. A lot of states allow for grandparent rights.

I would definitely turn her into CPS because if it's as bad as you say it is, that child is in danger. Make the call and see where it goes from there.

Why will your son not fight for custody? Does he not want the child or is his living situation not much better?

My son suffers from a nerological condition, he is afraid that he would not be able to care for the child because the child is very active. He would support us if we were given custody, he simply does not believe that he could first of all win the battle and secondly provide for the child. Everyone within my circle knows of my grandchilds plight and they also urge me to turn her in. Oh, I just hate to be that person, but I know you are all right. Instead I have stepped in and taken him into our home were he has his own room and pay for his preschool. That was he is only with mom about 16 waking hours a week.

If the child is taken from the parents you, as a blood relative, could very well receive custody. But, yes, it will be an ugly battle.

The other side of this is that SOMEONE has to protect this child and, unfortunately, I think it's going to have to be you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If the child is taken from the parents you, as a blood relative, could very well receive custody. But, yes, it will be an ugly battle.

The other side of this is that SOMEONE has to protect this child and, unfortunately, I think it's going to have to be you.

---

I hate to disagree at this point but I have to. For one thing we have no idea if the OP's son has established paternity yet. If he hasn't then the OP IS NOT a blood relative. Also many states have strict laws about grandparents rights and in a case like this we don't know the state the op is coming from. If the father didn't go through a court ordered dna test then the OP is just a kind stranger. Have to be very careful in a situation like this one and we all know it's a by the books scenerio.

I feel as if I am in the same situation as you. This is a devastating situation. I am very upset and have know idea as were to turn. I read all of the reviews and contacting CPS as suggested tells all people involved that you (we) are the ones complaining.
This comes from previous experience with CPS for other children. Although they say it is annonomys it isn't.
I don't want to loose contact with my grandaughter, and am afraid that once I start any procedures to obtain the right to raise her I can loose and never be allowed to see her again.
Are our hands tied as paternal grandparents?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by confussion893

I feel as if I am in the same situation as you. This is a devistating situation. I am very upset and have know idea as were to turn. I read all of the reviews and contacting CPS as suggested tells all people involved that you (we) are the ones complaining.
This comes from previous experience with CPS for other children. Although they say it is annonomys it isnt.
I don't want to loose contact with my grandaughter, and am afraid that once I start any procedures to obtain the right to raise her I can loose and never be allowed to see her again.
Are our hands tied as paternal grandparents?

---

I think you weigh reporting and ending the abuse and not seeing the child and allowing the abuse to continue. And, yes, it's a hard call.

Contact legal aid and see about doing a non-parental custody. If you feel you can lose all access to that baby see if you can do a temp order of protection. Go to www.lawhelp.org under family law and non-parental custody for your state and print out the application it gives you the instructions then see if there is free lawyer advocates at law library at your county courthouse

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by itsmyopinionk

Contact legal aid and see about doing a non-parental custody. If you feel you can lose all access to that baby see if you can do a temp order of protection. go to LawHelp.org | Find free legal help and information about your legal rights from nonprofit legal aid providers in your state under family law and non-parental custody for your state and print out the application it gives you the instructions then see if there is free lawyer advocates at law library at your county courthouse

---

How is a temporary Order of Protection going to help?

Sorry I'm spanish una pregunta ami hija el papa de la nina le puso cps que supestamente que la golpeo pero realmente yo la cuido el mas teimpo por que eya trabaja los dos tienen la custodia de casualidad yo no la prodria tomar si si podria cuento con una casa mi esposo trabaja bien contamos con aseguransa todo esta en regla mi hija no usa drogas ni nada mi hija esta peliando por la nina nada mas que no se la quieren dar y la tiene el nada mas por que mi hija puso child support entonces el empezo aser movimientos para quitarle ala nina y de el salio que todo lo iso por venganza hacia eya me puede ayudar si yo podria tomar la custodia de la nina

Ami no me dejan mirarla y ami hija la dejan nada mas supervisada por media hora y por que anosotros no dejan que la miremos eso no es justo si realmente mi hija adora asu nina y seria incapas de golpearla eya se la presto a el alas 10:30 del viernes 15 de junio y como asta las 2 de la tarde supestamente yego la supervisora y se yebo ala nina al hospital pero en trascurso de las 10:30 hasta las 2:00 pm si en ese caso se la hubieran yebado desde las 10 que no por que eyos esperaron tanto tiempo y despues como las 5:00 le avisan ala mama se supone que el le tiene que hablar ala mama primero por si ala nina le paso algo que no y no lo isiseron eso quiere desir que el tenia un plan verdad como se le puede ayudar ami hija que eya si fue ala corte aplicar para la custodia de la nina y la cita la tiene en septiembre cuangtas probavilidades puede tener mi hija de quedarse con la nina y que se la regresen eya nunca a tenido record crimenal

No sabemos cuanto tiempo sera supuestamente va a la corte pero no dijieron el tiempo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lupita mar

ami no me dejan mirarla y ami hija la dejan nada mas supervisada por media hora y por que anosotros no dejan que la miremos eso no es justo si realmente mi hija adora asu nina y seria incapas de golpearla eya se la presto a el alas 10:30 del viernes 15 de junio y como asta las 2 de la tarde supestamente yego la supervisora y se yebo ala nina al hospital pero en trascurso de las 10:30 hasta las 2:00 pm si en ese caso se la hubieran yebado desde las 10 que no por que eyos esperaron tanto tiempo y despues como las 5:00 le avisan ala mama se supone que el le tiene que hablar ala mama primero por si ala nina le paso algo que no y no lo isiseron eso quiere desir que el tenia un plan verdad como se le puede ayudar ami hija que eya si fue ala corte aplicar para la custodia de la nina y la cita la tiene en septiembre cuangtas probavilidades puede tener mi hija de quedarse con la nina y que se la regresen eya nunca a tenido record crimenal

---

TRANSLATION: Ami do not cease me to look at her and ami daughter leave nothing more supervised by half an hour and by that anosotros not leave us to look it that is not fair if my daughter really loves asu girl and would be incapas hit it eya lent it to the wings 10: 30 Friday 15 June and as 2 pm supestamente yego supervisor and is yebo wing girl to the hospital but in course of 10: 30 up 2: 00 pm if in this case it had yebado from the 10 that not why eyos waited so long and after like 5: 00 alert you wing MOM assumes that the need you to talk ala mama first if wing girl happened something that are not and do not the isiseron that want to desir that he had a plan really as you can help ami daughter than eya wing was cut to apply for the custody of the girl and the appointment is on September cuangtas probavilidades can have my daughter stay with the girl and that is return eya never had record crimenal

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lupita mar

sorry im spanish una pregunta ami hija el papa de la nina le puso cps que supestamente que la golpeo pero realmente yo la cuido el mas teimpo por que eya trabaja los dos tienen la custodia de casualidad yo no la prodria tomar si si podria cuento con una casa mi esposo trabaja bien contamos con aseguransa todo esta en regla mi hija no usa drogas ni nada mi hija esta peliando por la nina nada mas que no se la quieren dar y la tiene el nada mas por que mi hija puso child support entonces el empezo aser movimientos para quitarle ala nina y de el salio que todo lo iso por venganza hacia eya me puede ayudar si yo podria tomar la custodia de la nina

---

Sorry I'm English a question ami daughter the father of the girl put cps to supestamente I hit but really I take care the more potency by eya works both have custody of the accident I not could take if if I could count on a House my husband works well we have insurance all this rule my daughter does not use drugs or anything my daughter this fighting by the girl nothing more than not they want to and have nothing more that my daughter put child support then the aser movements began to remove wing girl and the came out all the iso for revenge towards eya can help me if I could take custody of the girl

My husband and I are going through some of the same scenario as you. Let me warn you in advance. Our daughter married her "beloved" husband 5 years ago. She had a 4 year old daughter at the time. She has since had 2 more children. When we first met her husband, he had no job, no teeth, and lived at home with his parents. As a wedding gift, we paid for their first years rent. It ended up we paid for all their rent and build them an apartment in our basement. We wanted our grand kids to live a decent life. We bought them all their clothes, half their food that wasn't cover in food stamps, and provided our daughter with a car, insurance, and gas. Last summer, we kicked our son in law out for trying to choke our daughter to death. We called the police and our daughter lied about everything. She stayed with us another year, sneaking off to see her husband. He stalked her, threatened her, took her food stamp money, and promised over and over again to kill himself, and her too. Then 2 months ago, she up and took the kids over to his parents house to live with him. We called children's protective services. The checked on the 3 kids, said they had no bruises, and were fine there. They all live in a one room small addition to his parents house and the whole place is filthy. We are not allowed to see our grand children. We have been warned repeatedly to stopped harassing them. We hired a lawyer, who has done nothing, and we don't even know if she can do something.

My advice would be to do nothing but enjoy the time you have with your grandson and don't rock the boat. Eventually, your grandson will most likely not want to go home with her, and it sounds like she doesn't care that much if he decides that.

Our government doesn't make it easily to gain any rights for grand parents. No matter what advice you are given, you are taking a big gamble. We took it, and it made everything so much worse. Good luck to you.