Hello!
I am in the state of South Carolina. I have a child that is 22 months old. I moved out 19 months ago to live with my parents, and while we were working on the relationship, I allowed him to pay me directly without an order of child support. I have kept a journal with the date and amount each time he has given me anything (which is not much - around $500). As of two months ago he began dating someone else so we are no longer "working" on the relationship. He now says he will not give me any amount of money without a court order. When I go to file for child support, am I able to ask for child support up from when my child was born up until now even though I have never taken him to court before?
Thank you!

That would be more of a court decision then your decision. Child support isn't meant to be some kind of bank account. You should have filed sooner.

Some states do allow you to back date for a period, most only go back to the date of filing.

I don't think it's a bank account. He suddenly wants to pursue visitation and have some sort of responsibility for my child now that he is almost two, yet he never had the initiative or integrity to do so before. As the mom who has been the mom she needs to be from the moment she found out she was pregnant, it's a little hard to swallow! I feel like if he wants to be responsible now, then he must claim responsibility for the past in which he wasn't choosing to do the right thing - We were better off without him! If he wants to claim to be a parent now, then he's going to have to claim the time that he didn't! Of course I know a court will not care about my opinion, I'm just explaining that I don't see child support as a bank account as you stated. :-)
Thank you ScottGem, I will research and find out which category my own state falls under.

He always had the responsibility, you should have filed from day one. You choice not to, since he was still "dating" or working out things with you. Now that he found someone else, you want him to pay, but who cares why, you should have had a order 22 months ago.

Most likely no you will not get back support in your state, when you file your attorney can ask, but normally the judge will not allow that.

His rights to visit has nothing to do with his making payments, support and visits are not related.

In my original post I was not asking whether I would receive it, I was asking if that was something that could be asked for or if it was completely unheard of. I explained my reasoning because you claimed I saw child support as a bank account, which I do not. I explained the status of our relationship for the past two years because I was not sure if the fact that we were still in a relationship during that time would change whether I could ask for it. I could have filed and forced him to take responsibility sooner, but I was hoping he would choose to do so and be the father he needed to be. I feel it speaks to his character and his intentions that he did not want to provide for his child. I understand that I may not get it and my opinion and reasoning won't matter in a court, but thanks to ScottGem I now know that some states do allow for it and some states don't. It is not completely unheard of.
Saying that "Now that he found someone else, you want him to pay..." is just rude, and simply not the truth. Instead of just making assumptions, you could answer the question that was asked, or not respond at all.

Its not up to you to ask for it. Its up to the courts to decide if and how it fits into the law. As Scott said some states do allow it. But a lot of it has to do with how the case is presented etc. But in a normal filing you don't ask for it. In the courts its possibly given to you. Some that come to this site think since they didn't go to court before they are entitled. It doesn't work that way. That's why we always push to go file and get things started. Also the way one of your other posts reads.(might not have been the intent). It implies a connection between the child support and possible visitation which in most courts they are not related in factoring visitation.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by USCmom10

Instead of just making assumptions, you could answer the question that was asked, or not respond at all.

---

First, I'm glad that you feel you got help. But I must address the above quote. You may not have much experience with Q&A sites like this, but you do not get to dictate who can respond to your question or how! THAT is rude. As long as the response does not violate our rules (in which case you use the report link) then you have no more to say about it. You can ignore the response, that's your choice. Remember we all VOLUNTEER our time to help others.