Children, Step-children, Niece: What a mess!
Hi, I am in desperate need of clarity and advise.
I am 41, mother of 2 daughters, 3 step-kids and 1 niece. My 2 daughters 18 and 15 live with me and my husband and so does my husbands niece, 15 also. My 3 step kids are all over 23 with their own places. My husbands niece has been thrown from pillar to post since she was 2 years old. My husband and his ex-wife got custody of her when she was 3 1/2 years old but when they divorced she stayed with the ex-wife who left her with any one and every one for days at a time. In 2002 she stayed with my husbands daughter who was 20 years old then for a year, which turned out to be a bad thing, so she came to live with us and has been with us every since. My husbands daughter hasn't had any thing to do with the niece since she moved in with us but now since she's had a baby she wants the niece to come stay all the time. Last night the step daughter called to tell the niece that she has fixed her up with a 20 year old man. When my husband told his daughter that wasn't going to happen she threatened him with taking the niece back. What is going on here? I am confused as to where all of this is coming from. My husbands daughter told her dad that the niece is her daughter and she raised her. Well, the niece only lived with the daughter for a year and the daughter treated the niece like the daughters mother did, leaving her with any one for days at a time.
Since my husband and I got married I have found out that all of his kids are liers and like to start trouble. His ex-wife is a conniving deceitful person who likes to keep trouble going.
My problem is: What do I do with this? I don't understand how people can treat other people like this. I was told to stay out of this but this is my home and my kids where not raised to treat others bad. My 18 year old daughter says to just forget it, don't let it bother me. But I have a hard time with not letting it bother me. I am thinking that I shouldn't have gotten re-married and maybe I should call it quits. Then I wouldn't have to deal with the daughter, the niece or the disillusioned dad. Of course I think that because I don't have any experience with this kind of behavior.
Any advise?