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-   -   How do I get my daughter back if my mom has adopted her? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=595158)

  • Aug 30, 2011, 06:36 PM
    Miyan
    How do I get my daughter back if my mom has adopted her?
    Greetings,
    When my daughter was 2 months old her femur was broken. When she was born all the way until she was 2 months old she had used her leg differently than the rest of her limbs. I had asked her dr every time we went in for a check up I had asked him about her leg. He had always responded "well she is just a baby and shes getting to know how to use all of her body parts" I had even asked my mom about it and she had responded the same thing, she also responded you're a first time mom so of course your going to over look things, she is fine. The night I found out something was wrong I had asked my mom to babysit for us that night. But I had told her I wanted to take my daughter to the dr first, I told her I was just going to take her in and get it checked out. I wish I would have! I went to the pizza place down the street and to the pool hall, also down the street. I wasn't even gone for 40 minutes when my ex had called me and said " Her leg is swollen, I think you should take her in." So I took her to the dr and her leg was swollen when we took her diaper off. The dr had said its probably just a hip infection because there was no redness on her skin or any bruising. Than they took an x-ray and found out her femur was fractured. At that time I had no idea what to think. Well to shorten this up a bit, I moved into my moms and step dads right after with my daughter. I had moved out of my moms when I had just turned 17 yrs old. I didn't get along with my step dad very well. His idea of discipline was a smack on the head or across the face if you did anything wrong, even spill his drink, it would a quick smack, I couldn't live that way. So I left. Well when I moved back all I heard was I was a bad mother and I already had to see my daughter in a full body cast everyday. I cried myself to sleep every night. I started falling into a deep depression. I wasn't able to speak to any of my friends or anybody. I wasn't able to leave the house. I asked DFS if we could leave and go stay at a foster home and my case worker always said well give it a little bit and it will get better. It didn't! I ended up leaving and I couldn't take my daughter with. So I got visitation rights. I had a public defender and she told me it looked like they were going to taker her away from me so I should sign my rights away so later on down the road when I was stable enough to have her. Well my mom adopted her and I have been in and out of her life since. She is now 6 and I have been in her life solidly for almost 2 years now. I get her on weekends because those are my days off. Now my mom is pulling away and not letting me see her. I am very responsible with my life. I have a job, a roof over my head , and a vehicle. I live my life the right way and strive to do right every day. I have asked her for her back and she refuses. Please help me and give me an open door on how I can try to get her back. I don't have enough for a lawyer and legal aid said Im on my own. So please give me some advice. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her at least half of the day. My mom is having a hard enough time taking care of her and my sisters as it is. Please anything helps. Thank you!
  • Aug 31, 2011, 07:56 AM
    kcomissiong
    If the adoption was done correctly and formalized, then you have no say here. Adoption is intended to be permanent. Were there provisions made for you to be in your daughter's life as a part of the adoption process? I would see if there is a free consultation available with a local attorney who can advise you of any legal standing you may have, but honestly, it looks like you are going to have to try and get along with your mother if you want to see your daughter.
  • Aug 31, 2011, 08:08 AM
    Synnen
    If an adoption is done correctly, and you relinquish your parental rights in a courtroom, it is unlikely you can overturn the adoption.

    Adoption is FOREVER.

    You would have to PROVE that you were either coerced or lied to in order to overturn an adoption, especially so many years later. In order to do that, you NEED an attorney, and your chances are still somewhat slim.

    I also suggest that you see if you can get a free consultation with an attorney in your area to find out what your chances are of overturning the adoption.

    In the meantime, please recognize that your mother is your daughter's LEGAL mother, and unless you can prove her unfit (or unless you have a court-ordered visitation agreement), you only get to see your daughter on HER sufferance, and you need to make sure you are staying on her good side to do so.

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