I recently went back to court to reevaluate the child support that I pay for my daughter. I haven't signed any paperwork yet because I know I need to meet with a lawyer before I do. The thing is that I can't afford what they set my monthly payments at. I have a wife and two kids that I also have to take care of. With the amount of money that they set my new child support at, it leaves me with $150 after I pay my what I call the bills needed to survive. By that I mean rent, car, insurance, electricity, and phone bills. With $150 dollars left over how I am suppose to afford diapers, formula, and clothes for my other kids. My wife has a job, but only gets enough to barely cover child care down here. What do I do?:(

Did you fill out an expense sheet... you don't need a lawyer for that.

Where do you live?

I live in Oklahoma

Is the court aware that you're married and have 2 other children? The 2 other children should be taken into consideration when setting the amount of child support. If your state's guidelines were properly applied when the amount was set then you have little recourse. Simply saying "I can't afford it" won't cut it. If they weren't then you can petition the court for a modification based on the fact that you have other dependents.

I guess you need to work out a better budget, work a second job, have your wife work part time.

Child support is based on a formula, now in our states, your current family, number of kids are not counted, it is merely a percentage of your pay, and your ability to pay for anything after that is not the courts problem.

So basically you have to afford it, no way out of it, if the court has the amount set by its current standards

Sad to say this happens many times - new families take as much as the former families. But no excuse. My youngest brother held down one full time jobo plus one part time plus freelanced, in order to make all the ends meet. They ate tuna fish a lot and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and it was tough. But he and his second wife (and family) lived through it all with sacrifice and frugalness.

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Originally Posted by soulja0678

I recently went back to court to reevaluate the child support that I pay for my daughter. I haven't signed any paperwork yet because I know I need to meet with a lawyer before I do. The thing is that I can't afford what they set my monthly payments at. I have a wife and two kids that I also have to take care of. With the amount of money that they set my new child support at, it leaves me with $150 after I pay my what I call the bills needed to survive. By that I mean rent, car, insurance, electricity, and phone bills. With $150 dollars left over how I am suppose to afford diapers, formula, and clothes for my other kids. My wife has a job, but only gets enough to barely cover child care down here. What do I do?:(

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It's by statutory guidelines in Oklahoma not by ability to pay - did you fill out the appropriate forms when the hearing was held? If so, there is probably no room to negotiate.

The number of other children you have is not taken into account - in fact, I have seen Judges tells parents that all the children need to eat, not just the children of the second marriage.

I have very mixed emotions on this whole subject - the statutes were enacted in order to curb abuse of the system and uneven child support orders; the same statutes have caused enormous hardships in many cases. My nephew was in a similar situation, couldn't afford to pay what was ordered - the Court suspended his driver's license (in what I can only describe as retaliation) which left him unable to work and unable to pay any support whatsoever. (This was based on 3 months of 75% payments, not a long period of no payments.)

The schools need to start teaching this stuff - child support - instead of 'how to' courses, beginning in the 6th grade and every grade thereafter.

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Originally Posted by George_1950

The schools need to start teaching this stuff - child support - instead of 'how to' courses, beginning in the 6th grade and every grade thereafter.

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And maybe they should also teach birth control - and legal responsibility for children you bring into this World.

The schools have been teaching birth control for 30 years.

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Originally Posted by George_1950

The schools have been teaching birth control for 30 years.

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They sure aren't where I live, except in very vague terms - maybe it's up to the parents, anyway -


Of course, I don't know how to force kids to listen.

You are looking at a double edged sword. My husband did that before we got custody and when he started a second part time job they raised his support again. Saying he made more so he could pay more. I don't think it is fair, it should be the cost of all the children then divided between some judges will take this in to account. Our judge did after we went to court when they raised the order. Good luck

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Originally Posted by afitz

You are looking at a double edged sword. My husband did that before we got custody and when he started a second part time job they raised his support again. Saying he made more so he could pay more. I dont think it is fair, it should be the cost of all the children then divided between some judges will take this in to account. Our judge did after we went to court when they raised the order. Good luck

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You must be in a State where child support is NOT by statute - if you don't mind answering, what State are you in?

Actually this is fairly common, not that they do it automacticly but most child support is based off a percentage of what the one party makes,

Some states looks at the earnings of the party with custody and then the earnings of the non custodial parent, Others just base it off a pure percentage.

I am now in the state of ill... were it is set that a percentage of his pay no matter if he works 4 jobs entire income is effected. Although I have seen in many states were both has happened. This state as many goes by percentage of net income. I have seen many different standards depends on the judge and what he/she will allow. This state is different I can say that. I am from Florida where things are a lot different. I don't think any child should be left behind because of being first family or second.

Here is a good one. Mother is non custodial parent and court won't make her pay child support because she doesn't work. Lets her new boyfriend pay all bills, how is that fair to anyone. I did my research paper for school and found that more mothers are deadbeats than fathers I was shocked.

afitz: will you share some citations? Thanks

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Originally Posted by afitz

Here is a good one. Mother is non custodial parent and court wont make her pay child support because she doesnt work. Lets her new bf pay all bills, how is that fair to anyone. I did my research paper for school and found that more mothers are deadbeats than fathers I was shocked.

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Would you post your sources for this statistic?

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Originally Posted by afitz

I did my research paper for school and found that more mothers are deadbeats than fathers I was shocked.

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I too would like to see the source of this, but I would not be surprised if it could be proven. I suspect the issue is on a comparative basis. I would suspect that woman required to pay child support are a small portion of the parents paying support. So that its possible that a smaller number of women being deadbeats would mean a larger percentage of women deadbeats than men. But I strongly doubt, that on a straight numbers stat, there are more women deadbeats than men.