A friend was visiting from out of town. One of her friends decided we should meet to drinks and wings at a local establishment. I was given the time of 8:00 pm. When I showed up at eight. There were 5 people there finishing their dinner. I asked if I had the time wrong? Apparently they decided to have dinner together and have others come later. That would have been me and someone else. I thought that was rude. What do you think?

I think it is a bit rude. If they wanted to meet you for drinks and conversation, they should have done it at a different time, not when you and one other person can walk in and watch them finish their dinner.

That disgusts me, personally I would have said to the other friends face that they disgusted me then told my friend that id talk to them later then walk out.

What did you do?

It disgusts me too, actually. I have invited people to my house before and they used my phone and called take out/delivery for themselves. Now I didn't expect them to buy me anything at all, or anything like that, but they could have at least asked "do you mind if we eat in front of you".. especially in my own house.

I find it very rude for someone to sit there and eat a whole meal in front of you. What are you supposed to do, watch them? Besides the fact that they should have scheduled with you 2 hours later, or something like that. Not when you can walk in and see them eating, wondering why you didn't get invited for dinner.

If I had to guess id say this other friend doesn't think very highly of others, a bit stuck up maybe, also female

That was rude not to warn you, and they could have. But then, that would have been rude to invite you for only part of the evening.

I wonder why they thought two people weren't "good enough" to be included in the dinner plans.

'cough'stuck-up'cough'

It is not you, it is rude of those people to give you a time and place and then change their plans to include dinner and not tell you. That is such a social faux pas. Hope you walked away and went and did your own fun.

I think I would have simply said "Ohhh, I see that I am late" and turned around and went home.

How rude! If they wanted to have dinner they could have phoned you and invited you too. Well I hope you just left, you don't need to waist time in the company of people like that, I feel really bad for you because if someone invited me out and then did that I would be really upset.

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Originally Posted by blondie58

A friend was visiting from out of town. One of her friends decided we should meet to drinks and wings at a local establishment. I was given the time of 8:00 pm. when I showed up at eight. There were 5 people there finishing their dinner. I asked if I had the time wrong? Apparently they decided to have dinner together and have others come later. That would have been me and someone else. I thought that was rude. What do you think?

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RUDE:eek:

They should have planned to meet at another place after dinner with you. That would not have been rude.

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Originally Posted by albear

if i had to guess id say this other friend doesnt think very highly of others, a bit stuck up maybe, also female

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I was a little bothered by this remark that the person who was rude must have been a woman, as if men are never rude. (ha!) It says she was a woman. But I don't think either sex has a monopoly on manners.

The only person who ever did this to me was a man. He called me and invited me to dinner with a mutual acquaintance. He said they were on their way to the restaurant and would be there in about 20 minutes, so I would have to hurry to meet them. I said I'd be right there. But when I got to the restaurant about 20 minutes later he had had the waiter clear my place away and they had already ordered and started eating. It was weird. The other person seemed surprised that I showed up, like she didn't know I was invited. Don't know why I was invited. It was embarrassing.
Asking

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Originally Posted by blondie58

A friend was visiting from out of town. One of her friends decided we should meet to drinks and wings at a local establishment. I was given the time of 8:00 pm. when I showed up at eight. There were 5 people there finishing their dinner. I asked if I had the time wrong? Apparently they decided to have dinner together and have others come later. That would have been me and someone else. I thought that was rude. What do you think?

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I think I would have been a little uncomfortable. I bet they felt like jerks as soon as you asked if you got the time wrong. I wouldn't ban them from your friends, just watch your back with them. I think it was rude. Sorry sweet... ;)

I don't know what exactly happened but may be they wanted to give more time and attention to every batch. Just another point of view. I would think it's rude too but thinking negatively only upsets us so may be this thought could be something to be considered. Remember peace!

Being overtly B-listed by so-called friends? Yeah, really rude. I would call them out on it in a respectful but firm way, such as, "you know, I was really taken aback to realize that even though it was just beers and wings, you didn't think enough of me to include me in the entire evening, and just included me with the late B-list crowd. In the future, if you don't feel I measure up with the "best" of the others who are included, please don't invite me at all. You hurt my feelings and put me in a very uncomfortable and embarassing situation and I won't be put in that situation again."

If they do not see that they were wrong, correct their ways and apologize immediately, they would soon be on my D list!

Actually I did do that... and I got the well I did no know it was happening that way.. I hadn't seen these friends and I thought nothing about different people showing up at different times. And that might have been OK unless you consider we had all planned to meet at 700 and the night before I was called and told the time was changed to 800 and then I walked in and found people finishing dinner. I was really upset and hurt, My friend did not seem to think there was a problem.. I did and still do... so we are not friends anymore... now if that was me, I would have felt terrible that one of my friends could do that to another and probably would have apologized even though I had nothing to do with it.

If you can, try to leave the door open a crack. We're all works in progress, and who knows what the situation was from her perspective. She does need to acknowledge your feelings as valid... otherwise you will not be able to forgive this and move on with the friendship even if you want to. It will always be there. But friendships, like marriages, often are strengthened when something like this happens, the person harmed is forgiving and the person who did the wrong thing is contrite. Acting like it was fine though... the maturity level isn't there, and perhaps you've outgrown this friendship.

Well, in my opinion, it was not certainly very kind! But they probably didn't know any better.
I am quite old and one of the things that I'm missing from my younger years is "kindness" and "amiability"
Now it seems that most people have forgotten the wonderful and miracolous effect that words like"please" or "thank you" used to have.
Too bad

No doubt about it... that was extremely rude... if people arrived a little earley they could have had drinks and conversation, whilst waitng for further guessed to arrive, you should all then have dined together as one party.

Personnaly I would have felt extremely unwanted and uncomfortable, saying something like... I can see you've finished your meal, that's fine, I really don't feel to good we'll catch up someother time... phone me... as I was walking towards the door.

Well Blondie. I guess that everybody coincides that their behaviour was quite rude. Don't you think?