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-   -   Should I have another baby (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=293584)

  • Dec 18, 2008, 12:11 PM
    sweet20
    Should I have another baby
    My boyfriend of 2 years wants a baby really bad but I don't want to make him happy because I have a daughter from another man and he knew that when we first got together.. well he doesent treat her like he wants to be her daddy... he doesent talk to her play with her or teach her new things or even show love... welll he only does those things when I start complaining but its not like he is doing it because he wants too... welll anyway he wants to have a baby and I don't because I know he's going to treat them different I don't want my daughter to feel like he doesent want her... so should I have his baby or not?
  • Dec 18, 2008, 12:19 PM
    Romefalls19

    No, you should have a baby when you both feel it is time. Having a baby just because one person wants to is only going to lead into resentment of the child, a broken home and countless problems. He needs to be a grown man and understand you and your daughter are a package deal, he can't have one without the other. If he can't understand this, then you need to break it off with him and the situation will only worsen as time goes on. Some people can look past their S/O having a child(s) by someone else, some can't.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 12:19 PM
    xxariesxx
    If you have any doubts at all, NO, you should not.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 12:30 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Not till you are ready and if he can not love your child, he does not need one of his own. Sounds more like he wants one because the other man had one to be equal, more than wanting to be a father.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 12:42 PM
    silentdarkness

    I really don't think that you should. Firstly, you said yourself that you don't want another baby. Secondly, you've been with him 2 years and he still can't accept your daughter, having a baby with someone is huge and you should ideally want to spend the rest of your life with that person right? But its not going to work if he doesn't love your daughter. I'm not a mother myself but it would be the most important thing to me to know that my partner accepts my children as his own. I think you 2 need to speak about your daughter first. I hope you work it out. X
  • Dec 18, 2008, 01:04 PM
    N0help4u

    If he can not learn to love your child now then if you have a baby with him your daughter will sense the favoritism.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 02:59 PM
    KBC

    One more vote for NO.

    All the answers tell you the same thing,I hope you see the light before you go too far and make a possible lifetime mistake.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 03:06 PM
    roxypox

    I'm joining the rest of the NO team!

    I know a woman who has a teenager from one relationship (she's 15 now) and a 7 year old from her current relationship and her man treats them VERY differetnly! Its sickening to watch. He has been the 15 year olds step dad for at least 8 years, and he has never treated her with any love or respect, when she was younger and her mom had to go on business trips he didn't even let the 15 year old stay at home, she had to go to her dads house or a friends house.

    One thing is to have a baby b\c one of you wants too... but when he doesn't treat your current child with love, respect and devotion it'll just get worse with a new child that is his.

    And I can totally understand if his behavior towards your child bothers you!
  • Dec 18, 2008, 08:24 PM
    liz28

    From your post you already know the answer. However, my question to you is why do you continue to stay with him if he can't accept your daughter?

    Do you know the impact it would've on her if you continue to stay with him? Do you want this kind of emotional damage to her? Just to let you know kids aren't stupid they have the ability to know when someone doesn't like them, babies can even pick that up.

    You really need to rethink being in a relationship with this guy. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and I couldn't imgine being with my fiancé, let alone have a baby with him, if he couldn't accept my daughter. I would give him the boot so quick that he wouldn't know what hit him.
  • Dec 19, 2008, 10:22 PM
    talaniman

    Hell no! And your choice of fathers for your daughter, sounds lousy to me!

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