Hello!
A couple of months ago I discovered that I am not BF of two children who my wife gave birth in our marriage.We are still married.A neighbour of us initiated a law suit against us because he believes that he is BF of the second child who has his eye-color.My wife and I took private DNA tests which excluded me like BF of both children.My wife asserts that she has never suspected that I am not the BF and she explains that the first child was resulted as "one off" with a stranger a day before our first meeting.The second one was resulted as a brief affair and she she had dismissed the reproductive potential of these encounters.
I have some questions:
1.Does the real BF of the second child has standing for suit if my wife and I opposite ?
2.What will happen if he prevails on the trial?
If he prevails can I sue him for reimbursement?
3.Can I disestablish my paternity of the first child if the court disestablishes my paternity of the second one?
4.How will it refer to the annulment or changing of our marriage contract?
Every opinion counts because I am very confused.

1. The real bio father has legal standing to be the father, and obligations to pay child support ( in most US states)

2. he will get visitation rights and have to pay child support

3. You have already proved you are not the father by the DNA test

4. doubt if a annulment is valid, in most cases you can have a divorce if you want,

It all depends on where are you in.Some states have rules barring challenges to the husband’s paternity more than two/or 5/ years after the child’s birth .Other-not.My answers:
1.Does the real BF of the second child has standing for suit if my wife and I opposite ?
A:It depends on the state law and the child age./under UPA/.
2.What will happen if he prevails on the trial?If he prevails can I sue him for reimbursement?
A:Your paternity will be disestablished and he will have the legal status as a father with all duties-visitation,child support... but have a mind that the child's last name will be changed.I think the court would not give you reimbursement because our court system is unfair to the victims of paternity fraud or"discrepancy".
3.Can I disestablish my paternity of the first child if the court disestablishes my paternity of the second one?
A:Maybe not because courts treat the mother’s husband as her children’s father... If the BF is unavailable you will be punished by court.
4.How will it refer to the annulment or changing of our marriage contract?
A:The best situation-court will reduce her property and/or alimony

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Originally Posted by GV70

It all depends on where are you in.Some states have rules barring challenges to the husband’s paternity more than two/or 5/ years after the child’s birth .Other-not.My answers:
1.Does the real BF of the second child has standing for suit if my wife and I opposite ?
A:It depends on the state law and the child age./under UPA/.
2.What will happen if he prevails on the trial?If he prevails can I sue him for reimbursement?
A:Your paternity will be disestablished and he will have the legal status as a father with all duties-visitation,child support...but have a mind that the child's last name will be changed.I think the court would not give you reimbursement because our court system is unfair to the victims of paternity fraud or"discrepancy".
3.Can I disestablish my paternity of the first child if the court disestablishes my paternity of the second one?
A:Maybe not because courts treat the mother’s husband as her children’s father...If the BF is unavailable you will be punished by court.
4.How will it refer to the annulment or changing of our marriage contract?
A:The best situation-court will reduce her property and/or alimony

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I agree but for one small thing, it's really not even important but you did such a good job that I don't have anything else to post. I don't think the child's name will get changed. But you are very right about the court system being unfair. I used to think it was more
So towards men, (and it is) but I am seeing allot more women getting screwed. I also would like to add this advice, run don't walk, to a lawyers office and get a divorce.

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Originally Posted by Matt3046

I agree but for one small thing, it's really not even important but you did such a good job that I don't have anything else to post. I don't think the childs name will get changed. But you are very right about the court system being unfair. I used to think it was more
so towards men, (and it is) but I am seeing allot more women getting screwed. I also would like to add this advice, run don't walk, to a lawyers office and get a divorce.

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Hello,Matt3046!
I have never said that the child's name will get changed... I said that the child's family name will get changed according the court paternity establishment.:)

I would say finding out that your not the father of both children. Would give you enough reason to actually go and get a divorce.

Joe

We do not know whether he wants to save his family... If I am not mistaken he is willing to remain both children father but he is not willing to remain as a legal father of one.I think he has some reasons for it.Our society is not fair and tolerant as all... If this fact will spread around he will have a lot of problems with his friends,co-workers and relatives.

Not to mention the children as they grow up.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Not to mention the children as they grow up.

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Why?
What about if it will be court ordered?

If you have raised these kids as your own does a piece of paper change all that. Your children know nothing of a court order, only that their life is disrupted and changed, so honestly what's in the best interest of those kids? I can understand harboring bad feelings for the wife, and resenting the other guy for wanting to be in his child's life, what cannot be forgiven is the selfish adults not stepping up and putting the kids first, sorry just me. Actually you can walk away, and not look back, since you have no kids to support legally. You should consult a good lawyer to make sure of your options and rights where you live.

Hello again!
I am not sure that you understand this situation clearly.There are two aspects-legal and social.Our society has never answered what legal fatherhood is.Some scientists describe fatherhood as a multiple fatherhood including legal,social,emotional,support,psychological and other sorts of fatherhood.The government goal is to proclaim biological fathers as legal fathers with designation aggressive children support collection.This is the right policy when it is directed to children born out of wedlock.The question is more complicated when there are marital children with paternity"DISCREPANCY'.
1.Legal aspects
Because government wants to collect money for child support it welcomes paternity disestablishments and inclines to restrict marital fathers'rights and to impose them only obligations "WITH RESPECT".This policy is totally unfair to marital fathers when there is no biological father on scene or mothers do not like to disclose who they are.The court will never allow disestablishment when the biological father is unknown but the court will disestablish paternity of the marital father with great pleasure if the biological father appears on scene and despite objections to it from the marital couple.
In Windward's situation I can see the worst of our legislation and court practice.First:the court will not allow him to disestablish his paternity to first child because the BF is unknown or his wife does not like to disclose who he is.There is no another man to transfer the support obligation and I believe that the judge will say,''You play father's role for a long time and despite you have no biological connection to the child you have to remain his legal father with support obligation''.Second:the court will allow disestablishment to the second child and judge will say to WINDWARD:''You play father's role for a long time and because you have no biological connection to the child you have no legal standings to remain a legal father...''That's not justice.
2.Social aspects
The second issue is about the responce of the society.I do not think that his friends,relatives and co-workers will accept this situation.I know from bitter experience as a researcher and research analyst that the closest relatives and friends probably will be willing to leave this disestablished father.That is not a question about relations between BF,child and marital father,not about a piece of paper..That is more complex question and probably the microsociety reaktion will give an expression from"He is a stupid cuckold' TO ''He is an impotent gay''.Windward will lose face.

I know that this type of disestablishment claims lead to family break dawns and children povetry.Your opinion?

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I am not sure that you understand this situation clearly.

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The court will do as they do, so that is irrelevant. What other people think is irrelevant. The issue is the kids having a father in their lives. My first stop is to a lawyer, to get a divorce.

How old is the oldest child? How old is the youngest? The length of time for which you raised them may influence a judge's decision... you may still end up with some sort of visitation if you seek it, as it would be in the best interest of the child to maintain the relationship he has built with you.

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Originally Posted by vlee

How old is the oldest child? How old is the youngest? The length of time for which you raised them may influence a judge's decision...you may still end up with some sort of visitation if you seek it, as it would be in the best interest of the child to maintain the relationship he has built with you.

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They are 2 and 5

Yo can visit gv70.wordpress.com
There are a lot of court cases and other opinions.

If either of the bio fathers wants to play a role in the kids' lives, they will be permitted by the courts once it is proven they are the father, but you can most likely still obtain visitation somehow, although it will be limited. (We're talking about dividing a child's life between 3 parties now... ) If only one bio dad is interested in seeking partial custody of his kid, can you ask the other if he'd be willing to allow you to adopt his child? Then you'd have all the legal rights of a natural parent. Then again, if he doesn't know he is the bio dad and your name is on the birth certificate, I don't see how your paternity of the oldest would come into question. It would just be a private matter between you and your wife. What happens really depends on the bio dads of these two children. You should hire a family attorney and get real legal help if you want to carry on playing a role in the kids' lives. I wish you luck, you sound like a decent guy in a tough spot.

[QUOTE=talaniman]If you have raised these kids as your own does a piece of paper change all that. Your children know nothing of a court order, only that their life is disrupted and changed, so honestly what's in the best interest of those kids? I can understand harboring bad feelings for the wife, and resenting the other guy for wanting to be in his child's life, what cannot be forgiven is the selfish adults not stepping up and putting the kids first, sorry just me. Actually you can walk away, and not look back, since you have no kids to support legally. You should consult a good lawyer to make sure of your options and rights where you live.:mad: QUOTE]

I think it is the peak of feminist thinking

DO you want a divorce? I don't think that has been said, has it? Do you want to be a dad to these kids?
I mean what is it that you want to have happen? For the father to just go away and let you and your family live your lives? How long have you known that these kids aren't biologically yours?
Did you get married because she was pregnant and you thought it was your child?

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I think it is the peak of feminist thinking

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If telling you to consult a lawyer to find out what is legal, as far as your rights and options, is feminist thinking, I can see why you are confused.
If putting the interest of the innocent children before the whims and wants of irresponsible adults, is feminist thinking, then I'm guilty.
See a lawyer, and find out what you think is the right thing to do.

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Originally Posted by NowWhat

DO you want a divorce? I don't think that has been said, has it? Do you want to be a dad to these kids?
I mean what is it that you want to have happen? For the father to just go away and let you and your family live your lives? How long have you known that these kids aren't biologically yours?
Did you get married because she was pregnant and you thought it was your child?

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Q;DO you want a divorce?
A:No,I don't
Q: Do you want to be a dad to these kids?
A:Yes I do... but to both children.
Q:How long have you known that these kids aren't biologically yours?
A:For a few months.
Q:Did you get married because she was pregnant and you thought it was your child
A:Yes,I did