I have been seeing this man for 2 months now. Great guy-we have a lot in common, get along well.we do a lot for one another,same morals and values See each other 1 time per week, he calls me 2-3 times perday-we talk for hours, more when we both have time. We are both 49(I divorced, he never married) I was told by my counselor to be patient with him as he has never been in a commitment. We are still getting to know each other, no sex yet(but heavy petting and great kissing,touching and cuddling in bed), as we both want to know each other more. Nice for a change. I am kind of stumped by this. He said while on the phone with me(he was out with the guys at a bar) He said I am not here to pick up anyone as they are, "I have you. When people ask me if I have a girlfriend I say no, but I am committed to you and would never cheat on you" I told him I have you and no cheating on you and I am committed to you". I imagine that's a guy thing to not want to admit to having a girlfriend. So I guess beings we are friends that means we are on the way to more. They say friends then a relationship. Most of my frinds say they were friends before their relationship. He seems to like me, I get that feeling from him, but when does a guy admit you're his girlfriend or do I ask? Don't want to rock the boat and I should be patient when I have a good thing. Any advice.

I would just sit down and have a heart to heart with him. Honesty is always best and since this is bothering you it is something you need to address with him. Just put it to him as you did us. Speak from the heart without making him feel that you are pressuring him for anything. Hope it helps

Yes I agree to the same.an honest clear discussion helps a lot. But never pressurize anyone.

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Is this the guy?

After only two months, I would just relax, and keep having fun getting to know him. What's the hurry? There is none, but let things develop as friend for a few months, and see if he really wants what you want, THEN, and only then, can you discuss being exclusive, and being committed.

He has been married before, so he knows what a commitment is, but may be moving to fast, you two to be honest, instead of building a solid foundation of friendship, before you jump into a relationship. Trust me, there is a lot more for you to learn about each other, so have fun doing it.

If this is the same guy, reread what I posted in that earlier thread.

No he is not the same guy. He is a super guy-no baggage finally. Has never been married himself. So I a trying to go slow and enjoy it. But was just curious. No rush for me-can't be. Just being hones as he is with me and bing a good friend, at least I seems we are friends as we are getting to know one another. So patience finally for me and enjoyment too. Thanks

Yeah take it slow and enjoy where you are now. The problem with relationships now is that people want everything instant and convenient then it doesn't work in the long run.

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Originally Posted by packer04

No he is not the same guy. He is a super guy-no baggage finally. Has never been married himself. So I a trying to go slow and enjoy it. But was just curious. No rush for me-can't be. Just being hones as he is with me and bing a good friend, at least i seems we are friends as we are getting to know one another. So patience finally for me and enjoyment too. Thanks

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Both of these guys were 49 and never married?

Yes the other guy was 49 now 50 never married. This man is 49 never married but lived with someone for years. So I am just enjoying myself and being patient. But was just wondering if guys and gals should be friends first and how does a guy look at the girlfriend issue. Or is a gal his girlfriend and she should know it.(being married for 26 years I never had an opportunity to date at all. So now I need some advice about that. Thanks

I don't know the difference between a 'committed relationship' and being, 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. Both imply a foundation of two people going forward together, not seeing or looking for anyone else.

I guess it is in how you look at it. You can't be in a 'committed relationship' with this man, without being 'boyfriend and girlfriend'.

I'd say for arguments sake, ask him if he thinks there is a difference between the two.

It seems pretty exclusive to me.

Maybe not a great idea to get so hung up on the definitions, and what it means to him, or to you.

While two months is a short time to really know somebody, trust your instinct, but be careful.

Everything else will fall into place if it was meant to be.

Your dating, and having fun, and there will be a time to talk about more. Until then, keep your life balanced with other things, until you know each other well enough to know how he feels about a relationship, and how to best go about one.

Its so easy to get attached when you only focus on one person, and have strong feelings for them. Its natural to want more, and even see it being more, but let time make things clear, before you give someone your heart.

Things have a tendency to change after a while, so stay flexible, and balanced, and don't invest more than you can lose. (don't get carried away).