Boy meets girl. Boy falls for her. Girl has boyfriend. Boy is lost.
Hi all. Thanks for being here.
I will try to explain my situation briefly. Hope you have the time to read and reply.
I'm 23, virgin and never have kissed a girl. Been to worried about my professional life until now.
Three months ago I've met a beautiful girl at university (project partner) witch I've started to like and did she. As good friends. She told me from the start she has a boyfriend (4 year relationship) that is one another country studying. Until a month ago we've spent many time together. We talked all the time, from morning to late hours. For a moment, I had no friends, she had no friends. I think we had an instant friendship. A month ago, maybe two weeks before the boyfriend arrived, I confessed that I see this relationship going to higher unknown grounds. She assured me that I was only a friend, and she was madly in-love for her BF. But because the BF chooses to study overseas, and she doesn't want to spend another year on a remote relationship, she has doubts about breaking-up with him.
Two weeks ago two major things happen: I tell her that I don't want to just be friends. Simply can't refrain myself to that relationship. And the boyfriend arrives. We decide I should distance myself. We go to spend our Christmas and new years apart, to each city. She complains to me about his behavior, that he doesn't see her much, goes on trips, sailing, friends, family, and almost no time together. I distance myself even more, because I can't stand see her being so taken for granted.
I'm certainly weak from the heart. No experience at all. I make mistakes everyday. I tell her that I like her and stuff like this. I shouldn't, but I do it. I would say that my only weakness, being too open. I share all my thoughts. I also question myself if I'm not someone who fills the void the BF is not filling (someone who cares).
She is someone who cares a lot for me. She calls my best friend to know if I'm not depressed about it. She keeps telling me how much she likes me. She cares a lot for her "special friend". Something I'm not actually used to. She has said stuff like "we have something and I don't know the name of it". On the other end, she has told me some phrases like "even if I broke up with him, we being together would be something unlikely".
My question is basically, what to do?
I can do what I've been trying to do: keep talking to her, being the friend she wants me to be. Try to find new girls who I can start to care about, while my brain keeps a small portion always on her. I'm very afraid nothing I do will get her out of my head. I'm also afraid my behaviour could be affected by the thought of making her somehow jealous.
I can do what every single advice I've seen being given said: forget and move on. I find this difficult because I would be dismissing an actual good relationship with someone who could be a good friend.
Although I certain you couldn't be on the position to evaluate fully what her feelings are, do you think is wise for me to be patient and wait for something? Or if I should move on, what is the best scenario possible for my heart and mind?
Thanks for caring.