Ok, weird story. I met the most amazing guy ever. In every way. We quickly became good friends, hanging out every day. We've been physical from the beginning. He tells me he loves me, and that if he was ready for a relationship, he would never let me go. He just got divorced 8 months ago. Here's the catch... he's 24... I'm 34... I believe that he loves me, but I don't want to act too interested in a relationship with him if he's just keeping me around hoping something better comes along. I just keep acting like we are best friends, while still dating other guys. He's gets jealous when I do, but I just blow it off. He told me in 2 years, if we are both still single, that he wants to marry me. Is it just his age? Or is he really just not ready?

He is almost fresh out of a divorce and he's having a good time. His telling you " if we are both still single, that he wants to marry me" is his way of keeping you as an option.

Sounds to me like he may feel you are sending mixed signals. Physical from the beginning---just friends--- dating others. Then his 2 years thing did he pull that out of thin air what's so magical that 2 singles in 2 years will be right for each other when they act like they just want to keep each other around?

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Sounds to me like he may feel you are sending mixed signals. Physical from the beginning---just friends--- dating others. Then his 2 years thing did he pull that out of thin air what's so magical that 2 singles in 2 years will be right for each other when they act like they just wanna keep each other around?

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Well, I should clarify... in the beginning, I wanted a relationship and told him. He said that he would ruin anything that started then, because he was still emotionally scarred. So, that's why I act that way now. To show him that I'm capable of being just best friends. I don't sleep with him anymore, but sometimes we SLEEP together, and just cuddle. He didn't say what magical force will change his mind in 2 years, just that he thinks he will be more emotionally stable then. Boys are so confusing..

So I think all you can do is continue the friendship and see if you grow closer together, farther apart or remain just friends. In the meantime, keep open and honest communication going. For example you say he has a jealousy issue even though you've both agreed to these new terms. So you need to tell him we need to be open and honest and if my dating other guys is a problem or its going to negatively impact on you deciding about 'us' we need to get things out in the open and not play games, saying one thing and meaning or hoping something contrary.

How long have you known him?

This may sound a bit harsh. But please stop and think.

If you want to date other men, do so because you find them interesting and want to get to know them better and/or you actually enjoy their company. Do not date them to make him see what he is missing and/or to make him jealous. Be careful you aren't using people just to get what you want.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

How long have you known him?

This may sound a bit harsh. But please stop and think.

If you want to date other men, do so because you find them interesting and want to get to know them better and/or you actually enjoy their company. Do not date them to make him see what he is missing and/or to make him jealous. Be careful you aren't using people just to get what you want.

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I have known him for 5 months. My intention of dating other guys is to get to know them, etc. but I always find myself comparing them to him, and they never come close! If I found someone that did, I would be happy to pursue something more. I don't want to wait around on him, but he's really the best thing that's ever happened to me.

This guy is enjoying being single and you are a "maybe in the future" to him, a big maybe. You need to move on. No more sleeping together and cuddling. Get this guy out of your system and move on.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

This guy is enjoying being single and you are a "maybe in the future" to him, a big maybe. You need to move on. No more sleeping together and cuddling. Get this guy out of your system and move on.

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I figured : / It's pretty much what he thinks I've done. I only reply to him when he texts or calls me, and I've been unavailable the last few times he's wanted to go out or for me to come over. Should I say something to him, or just keep doing what I'm doing until I finally just get over it?

Sounds like you are a guaranteed booty call. A booty call with someone he likes, but a booty call nevertheless.

My concern is that he is being honest with you. I'm not sure that you are being honest with him.

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Originally Posted by Rangersgirl00

I figured : / It's pretty much what he thinks I've done. I only reply to him when he texts or calls me, and I've been unavailable the last few times he's wanted to go out or for me to come over. Should I say something to him, or just keep doing what I'm doing until I finally just get over it?

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Unfortunately you started the relationship on something you don't want to continue now, You were not honest with him so you are the one sending mixed messages. Be honest with him and tell him you don't want to continue the relationship.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Unfortunately you started the relationship on something you don't want to continue now, You were not honest with him so you are the one sending mixed messages. Be honest with him and tell him you don't want to continue the relationship.

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I was honest, I just didn't expect such strong feelings to develop. But, thank u all for the advice!