In love but not lust - What next??
Ok you guys, can I ask your valued opinions please.
Married 24yrs, I love my wife and have never hidden this from her but I feel my love is being tested very much so as time goes by. For sometime now, maybe 10yrs or so I have not had any real desire sexually for my wife. We work together get on well in a work environment but at home it is becoming more and more strained. She put on a load of weight after giving birth and I assumed that she would lose the excess weight soon afterwards so all would be well. Let me be frank, we are not talking a few pounds here, I would have no issue with that - more like 100lbs. The weight did not come off and any attempt from her to diet lasts a week or so.
Love making ceased and has never been revived. To start with I assumed this was a short term issue, we both carried on with life (happily) and I found it hard to speak the truth as to how I felt so trusted to luck that she would figure out the problems and resolve it. About 5yrs ago I decided enough was enough and found the courage to say how I felt, BIG MISTAKE, I think. I explained that I loved her but am just not attracted to the weight gain. I was hoping for a "ok-lets get this sorted - walking and gym approach" but I have made things bad beyond belief. She sees me as a monster that should love and desire her unconditionally and refuses to accept how I feel.
Ok, so my question. And I ask this having read many other threads on a similar subject - some threads advise keeping your thoughts to yourself and some say speak your mind. Well I have done both and am no further ahead and now just don't know what to do.
Present Day : I still love her but cannot live a life without passion. Every few months one of us brings up the issues of our failing marriage and the same old issues are discussed but nothing changes. I am so reluctant to end things, my love and respect for her are genuine and I only wish I could feel attracted to a heavier woman, maybe I am just a monster as she suspects. I still feel that if we worked on this together it could be resolved and if I can see a light at the end of the tunnel with her commitment and my support. She wants to end the relationship as she cannot see my point but it is not what I want.
Where can I go from here??