Originally Posted by
Crabby Apple
First of all, thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences. It is good to know I am not alone!
I am coming to terms with the fact that my mother hates me. I have spent my whole life trying to maintain a relationship with her, but I have finally decided to move on.
I used to always look at things from her perspective, and feel for her and the difficulties in her life, and believe she did the best she could with what she had. But I was only kidding myself to spare the pain of the truth.
She was mean and cruel to me. She treated me like a slave, my whole life was centered around her needs. She berated the way I looked, walked, and talked. She flew into rages and beat me. I am just starting to sleep most nights, after over twenty years of insomnia - such was the terror that woman instilled in me.
I think she was jealous of me. I still think she is.
I finally moved far far away from her, and my dad, who could care a less either. Now that I am in a safe place far from her clutches and her negative perspective on me - I am beginning to heal. And all of the forgiveness I had before had vanished. Now I am angry. I have children of my own, and they are the most precious things in my life. I am proud of them, and I know they are better than me. When I think of the things my parents did to me and my brother and I look at my kids the same age, I want to smack my parents back to the stone age.
They have no remorse for anything they did. They were the perfect parents and we were the ungrateful kids. In truth they were a couple of low life drunks who could not be othered to keep us fed or supervised. Mean spirited, cruel s.
I am glad I moved so far away, and I don't care if I ever see them again.
The funny thing is I used to work in nursing homes and I would always be stunned by all of the people just left there and forgotten. I would think, how could you abandon your own parents? There is no way I could ever do that! Now my perspective has changed. I don't see any reason to give up my life, that I have had to fight tooth and nail for, to ever help them. They have never helped me, unless you consider birthing me - and I did not ask for that. Oh and I had to hear how she should have had an abortion because I ruined her life. Well maybe you should have kept your legs closed!
If these relationships are damaging to you or driving you crazy, remove yourself. Stay away from people who make you feel bad.