I feel I have always been a good mother. Raised both children in a good environment & home life. I have worked in the same profession for 27 years. My son has moved out with another family. The parents have just recently quit their jobs, their home is a wonderful home, but yet it is a complete wreck. The utilities are about to be turned off. The children are lacking the attention they need and my son has quit his job and now working part time. What is going on? He was not raised this way! I know he is not on drugs and thinks I should lighten up. What is your opinions?

I'll probably get some flack for this answer, but..

He is an adult, he has to learn on his own and make his own mistakes. The more you push, the more he will pull.

I have a son almost 20 going through a similar situation. All I can do is hope that he listened to me growing up. He has to make his own decisions and be responsible for his own actions now.

You have done all you can teaching him life's lessons, you can only pray that he will learn from what you have taught him.

I agree with J,

He's an adult now. He's out on his own and has to make his own way in the world.

Let him.

The hardest time for any parent is to see our babies grow up and leave the nest. Letting them fall on their face and not being there to kiss their boo-boo's is the hardest thing I've ever been through, but for their own sake we have to let them find their own way through life. If they need your help or advice they will ask for it. If not..!

Why did he move in with this other family? Perhaps a love interest? I think there's a lot of missing information in your post that, if known, could provide better insight as to just what's going on here.

Yes, I would have been surprised that at 18 or 19 a young adult does not move out, or want some private space. This is normal, if not a small apartment, or crashing with friends in a dump, or even living out of their car for a while, This is what a lot of young adults do.

I will assume at 19 he is either in college or working and earning his own living. ( since he should be doing one of the two)

When I was exactly 19 as well, I left home. I moved country ALONE.
Believe it or not, the whole experience of living away, made me independent, strong, coherent.. basically all the things I wasn't before I left.

It is an experience and at 19, this is part of growing up.
It has nothing to do with you, like it had nothing to do with my parents, but sometimes us kids feel we have to do it just for us.
Maybe to prove something to our inner selves.

Just keep in contact with him and speak to him regularly especially if your relationship as mother and son is still strong.

Man.

I was pretty level headed kid, in terms of not getting in trouble, at that age.

But in terms of real rational thought and a broad perspective, there were some hard wiring issues that didn't get addressed until I was mid 20's.

All you can do is still be the parent, and also recognise what others have said... that sometimes making mistakes on your own is "better" than being lead by the hand down the "right" path.

Try not to take this too much as a judgement against you. He might have judged you. He might be excercising his new freedoms and protesting against such things as curfews or judgements of behaviors. Be glad at least that your son is a strong willed individual who is not afraid to take action. Hopefully hell learn to harness that drive toward more productive goals. Again, I think some of us guys are morons for a few years past your sons age. My wife would probably agree and expand that timescale.

My opinion is he is not a child anymore. You need to realize that your little boy is an adult and need to make his own decisions in life now.

OK... my turn... (a hippie) lighten up mama!. from a older hippie... Most young adult considered moving out the home at 18 an adventure... I knew I did... I over slept at my boyfriend house... and then I went home... I did not want to hear any name calling especially from my father... I walked to the bedroom in this large house... packed my bags and left with my boyfriend in his blue thunder-bird ( pretty-bird)... that was that... it was an adventure... girlfriends coming by asking to speak to hm... knowing that he is not at home... wanting him... because he got a job... telling me that I am too young for him... I just smiled and say I will tell him you came by.. and if he wants to see you.. it is up to him... I was mature for my age at the time... now,. I am regressing... but when I left I had nothing but a job... I did quit working after a year found something else to do... I understand your son... life is an adventure and waiting is not an guarantee that he will be around... he is live in the now... tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us... You did raise your son well... he understands this... living with mama is not good when your searching for the other sex... want grand children... let him live his life... and you.. enjoy yours... find something else to do to occupy your time... when he needs to use the washer and dryer... he will let you know...

I am sad for you... I was a single mom for many years and provided a clean, safe and healthy environment for my son. He had it better than many children of single parent homes. At 18 he chose to find his father (who for years chose to have nothing to do with my son and thank god because he has a major drug addiction). He came home on the last day of his senior year and told me that as soon as graduation was over he was going to live with his father. That day came and he packed his stuff and left. He lasted there for 3 months and then moved in with my parents (right next door to me), He refused to return home because I would not be bullied into changing my rules. It is now a year later, he is 19 and has decided to live where ever he can lie his head. He has dropped out of college, quit his job and hangs around a bunch of low life loosers. I am devistated and fear that soon I will get that one call from jail. I too, like you, do not know what to do. I worry everyday. One thing I will tell you is that my devistation is turning into anger and I am about fed up with having my adult child treat me like crap. I have cut the apron strings and he is now on his own! Call me when you pull your head out I tell him. It is hard but I feel a lot better maybe try that approach.