This question is really about my BF's daughter. We would like to move in together, but this situation is driving me crazy and I want to help him deal with it. Here goes:
BF's ex is bipolar and PTSD and has been "incapacitated" for many years. He supports her, and she does not work. So, there's some learned behavior.
BF's daughter is 22 and has a baby. She has nothing to do with the baby's father. Her MO appears to be staying with her mother for a while until there is a blowup, then coming down to her father's place until she finds a better deal. Lately there has been a FWB situation, and she goes to stay with him until they fight, and then she starts it all over again. FWB and mother live near each other, father lives a couple of hours away. Since she is swinging around, she of course is not working and hasn't since before she got pregnant. BF is supporting her, too, and of course by extension the baby.
I don't think she is wrapped too tightly - how could she be? The baby is 1 now and is probably beginning to notice that she doesn't really live anyplace. My BF, who even though he is a little bent from dealing with these crazy women knows the right thing to do, wants daughter to stay with him so he can keep an eye on her. He doesn't quite trust her with the baby for a long time alone. While I understand this and think he has a point, I think it's enabling her patterns. She comes to stay with him when she has no other options but usually takes the first opportunity to go elsewhere. He will not kick her out. I have suggested that she needs therapy, and badly, but I'm not sure if this suggestion has gotten to her. He says that she knows that she needs to settle down, but that's a long way from actually doing it. Any ideas?