How to I get over my father's death?
Two years ago my father shot himself in the chest, but he didn't die right then. His neighbor found him and called an ambulance. When I got the call he was on his way to the hospital and I rushed there. By the time I got there he had lost so much blood that he was already cold and needed machines to breath for him because his blood pressure wasn't enough to sustain. The doctors were telling us that the best thing to do would be to pull the plug when my sisters left the room. About five minutes later I was in the hospital room alone with him trying to make a decision when he just died right in front of me. I had not seen or spoken to my father in over a year before this happened and I don't know if he heard my apology for being that way. Two and a half years later and I still see him die in front of me every day and it doesn't get better. How do I make this stop? I've tried to talk to my wife, but she seems to only care when she's not mad at me about something, and even then she's of little help. I don't know what to do.