Confused: I don't know what to do? I am married for 26 years. My husband does not want to make love with me anymore. He does not want to hug. If I ask him, he tells me that it is the wrong time of he just laugh. I cannot talk to him much on anything. He does is own thing, I do mine. He works and I stay home. I don't know how to approach him to ask him and make sure he opens up with me on the subject of getting closer, physically and emotionnaly. I do not know what to do? Should I leave him?? Please help

I am sorry you are in such emotional pain. Sexual intimacy is a big part of a marriage and if you aren't getting that, then your husband is not holding up his part of your marriage contract. If you are at a loss as to how to get his attention, it is time that you contact a marriage counselor. Based upon your personal situation, they will guide you on what you need to say to get him to sit up and take notice that you are not happy living the way you are, and you expect more attention than you are getting from him. It sounds like he is taking you for granted and you have to figure out a way to see if you can turn that around. A counselor will help you with that. After 26 years of marriage, you owe it to yourself to give this a shot. If your husband is unwilling to go with you, then go alone. If he just doesn't respond after you apply the constructive help given by a counselor, then it is time to talk to the counselor about what you want to do, either stay in a marriage where you aren't getting the attention and affection you crave, or leave the marriage and find it somewhere else. Here is a link that should help you get started in your search:
The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory

I wish you the best of luck!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lisemeloche

confused: I don't know what to do? I am married for 26 years. My husband does not want to make love with me anymore. He does not want to hug. If I ask him, he tells me that it is the wrong time of he just laugh. I cannot talk to him much on anything. He does is own thing, I do mine. He works and I stay home. I dont know how to approach him to ask him and make sure he opens up with me on the subject of getting closer, physically and emotionnaly. I do not know what to do? Should I leave him??? Please help

---

Well, I don't believe you should leave him. If you feel you are in any type of danger, then I would consider finding a safe place to be. Don't forget the children and animals if any.

You don't say whether you belong to a church or any kind of groups. You may want to contact someone with a counselling background and see if perhaps speaking with them could find you answers. I would recommend you going by yourself at first than asking your husband to go along with you.

26 year's is very long for a couple today. Lots of things get in the way of a marriage: finances, bills, etc. Perhaps, the kids are all gone. What I believe you need is to find a way to reinvent yourselves and start the honeymoon all over. We come from a family with longevity marriages and a strong religious backgrounds.

Please don't jump the gun and leave until you have tried some other avenues. And also don't fall victim to accusations before you have the entire story.

God Bless and Good Luck... :)

If I may ask how old you are and the status of your children? Also you stay at home and what else?

I would firmly but respectfully tell him how I feel, and maybe suggest marriage counsiling