Hi I'm 19 years old nearly 20 my boyfriend is 25, I'm always in the mood for sex when wer in bed with each other, I try an touch him but he just pushes me away. And rolls the other way he always makes excuses when I ask him for sex, he doesn't touch me when I touch him he says he doesn't feel like it and his tired an sore from work. What does it mean? I feel like his getting it from someone else.

Perhaps he is tired and sore from work.

There is nothing worse than being pressured for sex when you don't feel like it. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt and make him feel wanted rather than just asking for sex because you're horny.

Talk to him about it - out of the bedroom - and back off a little until you can get a sense of what's going on.

Well I already know that his tired from work so I don't really need to here that. And I'm not pressuring him I ask him and he always says no his tired. I do make him feel wanted his the one that pushes me away like he doesn't won't me. I try and talk to him but he just thinks it's a big game.

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Originally Posted by miss_honey

well i already know that his tired from work so i dont really need to here that. and im not pressuring him i ask him and he always says no his tired. i do make him feel wanted his the one that pushes me away like he doesnt wont me. i try and talk to him but he just thinks its a big game.

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If you know that he's tired from work, why do you initiate sex?

Honey,

Gemini is spot on! You may not feel that you are pressuring him, but the mere act of initiating sex creates expectations that he may well not be ready for or in the mood for.

It is right you should talk about it, but at a neutral time so as not to add to the pressure. Ask him when it would be a good time to initiate sex.

Don't assume he is seeing someone else, without any other indications, you are just jumping to conclusions.

What kind of work does he do? Does he do exhausting labor?

As far as the bedroom, you should be wiliing to compromise whenever he doesn't feel quite up to it.

As long as it's not ALL the time.

You may not believe me now, but you're not always going to be so sexually active, or have these constant "yearnings". As you get older, things will change. You may have sex only once a month when you get married, and have children.

Yes, it happens to a lot of people.

You must not always jump to conclusions whenever something, or someone, has a different pattern, or behavior.

Maybe this guy is just worn out, from work AND you. How many times a week do you have sex when things are normal?

donkieeee gemini isn't spot on she doesn't know what he does or doesn't do, its not like he does brick laying or any hard work. His a storemen he takes linen to all the bedrooms in the hotel. Wow its so hard. He starts at 8.30 sometimes and finishes at 4. or sometimes he starts at 5.39 and finishes at 1 in the afternoon. Then he comes home gives me a kiss then goes straight on to the computer and plays his game (world ov war craft) he doesn't get of it until about 11pm at night then comes to bed and goes to sleep doesn't cuddle me or anything doesn't ask if I want to play around have some fun nothing. His to tired hot or sore. He gives more attention to our dog then he does with me.

:( he is a storeman
His never into sex never wants to play around
When are things normal? Never we never have sex or anything he always makes up excusses.
When I do give him a little tickle he cums and that's it he doesn't finish me off, or sometimes he doesn't even give anything to me I give him head and that's it doesn't give me anything.

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Originally Posted by jmjoseph

What kind of work does he do? Does he do exhausting labor?

As far as the bedroom, you should be wiliing to compromise whenever he doesn't feel quite up to it.

As long as it's not ALL the time.

You may not believe me now, but you're not always going to be so sexually active, or have these constant "yearnings". As you get older, things will change. You may have sex only once a month when you get married, and have children.

Yes, it happens to a lot of people.

You must not always jump to conclusions whenever something, or someone, has a different pattern, or behavior.

Maybe this guy is just worn out, from work AND you. How many times a week do you have sex when things are normal?

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Originally Posted by miss_honey

...its not like he does brick laying or any hard work. his a storemen he takes linen to all the bedrooms in the hotel. wow its so hard.

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Hahaha

Since you left out how long you two have been dating and how long he's withheld sex, there could be any number of reasons. So, I'll tell you from experience the reasons I withheld sex in the past was because a) I was cheating b) I wasn't attracted to the girl at all or c) I was dating her for so long and was so bored that I just didn't care anymore.

But really, I think your problem is World of Warcraft. A kid I know spends roughly 40 hours a week playing that game.

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Originally Posted by miss_honey

donkieeee gemini isnt spot on she doesnt know what he does or doesnt do, its not like he does brick laying or any hard work. his a storemen he takes linen to all the bedrooms in the hotel..

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A little more understanding on your part would be a good idea. I worked a standard retail job, just in a supermarket delicatessen, I can tell you that being on my feet for 10 hours walking around carrying things made me so tired by the end of the day.

Video games sound like his way of unwinding after work.
Perhaps instead of like 4 hours of playing games you could suggest that he play for a couple of hours then you help him unwind by giving him a massage, you decide if it has a happy ending or not.

I myself do reject my partners advances fairly often if I am tired but if he does manage to give me a massage it usually ends quite well even though I didn't want to do it in the first place.

Find a hobby that has nothing to do with him, and start spending all your time on it.

First--you'll have something constructive to do with your time.

Second--it'll offset HIS hobby of playing WoW.

PS--when my gamer husband ignored me for a video game, things got really bad for a while. Then I tried the game as well, found it fun, and play as much as he does on the computer each week now.

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Originally Posted by miss_honey

:( he is a storeman
his never into sex never wants to play around
wen are things normal? never we never have sex or anything he always makes up excusses.
wen i do give him a little tickle he cums and thats it he doesnt finish me off, or somtimes he doesnt even give anything to me i give him head and thats it doesnt give me anything.

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How long have you known each other, been a couple, and lived together? What happens on his days off? What does he do around the house besides sleep, play WoW, and pet the dog? Does he have any other 'habits' than gaming? What do you do besides wait to have sex with him?

So it seems from what you have written thus far, you have a selfish and inconsiderate boy masquerading as a man for a boyfriend.

You pretty much have three choices:

1) Allow things to continue as they are and get your own hobby. Accept that he has a low sex drive or just doesn't care.

2) Sit down with him and have a calm discussion about your concerns. NO ARGUING, NO BLAME, NO CONFRONTATION-only talking AND listening. Be honest that you need more from him in the relationship. Be clear that you need to 'receive' pleasure as well as 'give.' Work together as a couple to meet each other's needs in and out of bed.

3) Get out of the relationship. Get rid of the baggage from the relationship. Work on being happy with yourself and your life. Then, when you are ready (and won't be getting into a rebound situation), find a new boyfriend who is more willing to work with you as a partner.

We have been dating for nearly 2 years now.
Ever since he bought this game he has ignored me he doesn't want anything to do with me before he bought the game he was OK he would play around and do things with me but now he doesn't.
Yeah don't you worry I think that is my problem as well his more interested in the stupid game then me.

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Hahaha

Since you left out how long you two have been dating and how long he's withheld sex, there could be any number of reasons. So, I'll tell you from experience the reasons why I withheld sex in the past was because a) I was cheating b) I wasn't attracted to the girl at all or c) I was dating her for so long and was so bored that I just didn't care anymore.

But really, I think your problem is World of Warcraft. A kid I know spends roughly 40 hours a week playing that game.

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We have been living together ever since we met on the 24 march 2008.
On his days off he plays his game or goes play pool with his mates. His a pool player. He does nothing around the house I do nearly everything cook clean do the washing make the bed feed the dog clean the room look after his dad pretty much everything. And his excuse is "i go to work i shouldnt need to do anything"
As I said I do everything I don't just wait around waiting till he gets home for sex. I ask for sex or just to play around when we go to bed. He spends most ov the time on the computer when he gets home from work his on there till 1 at night. Then he says I'm tiered I just want to go to sleep. I ask him to come to bed earlier and he says ill be there in a minute 2-3 hours later he comes to bed one night I was waiting for him to come to bed I just fell asleep and I heard him coming to bed at 2 in the morning. So I don't know what to do I love him so much and he just doesn't care

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

How long have you known each other, been a couple, and lived together? What happens on his days off? What does he do around the house besides sleep, play WoW, and pet the dog? Does he have any other 'habits' than gaming? What do you do besides wait to have sex with him?

So it seems from what you have written thus far, you have a selfish and inconsiderate boy masquerading as a man for a boyfriend.

You pretty much have three choices:

1) Allow things to continue as they are and get your own hobby. Accept that he has a low sex drive or just doesn't care.

2) Sit down with him and have a calm discussion about your concerns. NO ARGUING, NO BLAME, NO CONFRONTATION-only talking AND listening. Be honest that you need more from him in the relationship. Be clear that you need to 'receive' pleasure as well as 'give.' Work together as a couple to meet each other's needs in and out of bed.

3) Get out of the relationship. Get rid of the baggage from the relationship. Work on being happy with yourself and your life. Then, when you are ready (and won't be getting into a rebound situation), find a new boyfriend who is more willing to work with you as a partner.

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miss_honey,
I'm in the same boat as you. I am 21 years old who is compassionate and just wants love from her boy! I give him all the pleasure, we have been together for a year now and I've never had an orgasm. I have nobody to turn to. I'm so confused and a little hurt. Im not a cheater and I don't want sex from anybody else, I can't picture it, but I feel invisible and unattractive. I've never had a problem with anxiety with previous boyfriends, until this one. My previous boyfriends were sex hounds I had to tell them to back off and now I'm just like uhm am I broken? :( I just wanted you to know your not alone!

This thread is six months old. Please check the last date of post before you post on a stale thread.

If you have a question, it is better to post it as a new thread.

Not everyone is on the same time frame

While that is true, the original poster hasn't been back in six months with an update.

I think your post falls on deaf ears.

He cares so much about you he doesn't want to ruin the relationship

Oh for Heaven's sake.

Read the whole thread.

Watch the dates of the last post.

This thread is CLOSED because people can't read.