I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend about 4 months ago. We are experiencing a few problems in bed. One is that when we were first together he became so nervous that he lost his erection. He started to become more "calm" and over time stopped losing them (sometimes he would just loose it in the middle of things). But He still can't climax. I have been very patient with him but its starting to get irritating (I would never say anything so he wouldn't worry about it more). We can have sex for hours, with different positions, tons of foreplay, even taking a break and getting things going again, etc. He constantly peaks right before climax and then feels nothing. He never climaxes or loses his erection while inside of me. He can only come if I'm giving him oral or using my hands (so I'm pretty sure its all in his head). I feel responsible too because its my body that isn't fully pleasing him.

So I suppose my basic questions are:

Is there a chance that my body can't please him?
Are there any ways that we can help him get over this?
OR any advice in general.

How old are you?

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Originally Posted by Synnen

How old are you?

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I'm 19 and he's 21

Sounds to me like he masterbates too much, that's why he can only "come" during manual stimulation (oral sex and hand jobs).

Have you asked him how often he masterbates or do you already kind of know? If you've ever caught him that means he's doing it a lot.

Sometimes it happens to guys. It doesn't happen to me all the time, but there are those few times. I doubt its you. Especially if you were a virgin

It may be due to his size. If he has a larger than average penis, it may take a LOT of stimulation for him to reach orgasm. Also, he may need other types of stimulation, just as many women do, in order to reach orgasm.

Be willing to play around a little and find out if other ways of stimulating one another brings about orgasm -- not just direct sex play but sensual touch, massage, role-play. Be creative.

If he continues to have trouble reaching orgasm through vaginal intercourse, he may want to see a sex therapist for a few sessions. Maybe he needs to deal with some issues that have nothing to do with you.

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Originally Posted by MsEmily

It may be due to his size. If he has a larger than average penis, it may take a LOT of stimulation for him to reach orgasm.

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That is not true at all... large or small makes no difference at all.

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Originally Posted by chrissymarie

Have you asked him how often he masterbates or do you already kinda know?? If you've ever caught him that means hes doing it alot.

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I really don't think by catching someone masturbating means they do it a lot!

If someone caught you stealing lipstick from a shop does that mean you go out every night and shoplift?

I think its all in his head and the problem is not with you hun. Toys movies, role play etc. may help to solve the problem.