Boyfriend says he wants sex but won't have sex
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. We have had cycles of a lot of sex then barely any sex, mainly the latter. I am a very sexual person and want it all the time, he says he wants it but there's always an excuse (stomach hurts, too tired, too sore, maybe later, etc.) He was watching a lot of porn on his computer for a while (and mine, not cool) and we have had some issues with that in the past. I'm totally fine that he watches it, it's just the hiding it and lying about it and the fact that he watches porn and masturbates to the point where it cuts into our sex life that bothers me. He says it does not cut into our sex life but when he's doing that a couple of times a day and I'm not getting any it is. We have watched porn together a couple of times and had a lot of fun and it broke down some of his barriers and embarrassment about watching it, which was great! But I think he is getting back to the point where he is watching it a lot by himself... when I'm home... perfectly capable of having sex. I'll even give him a blow job so he doesn't have to do anything! Come on, what more do I have to do to be touched!
We have a great life together, we cuddle and kiss (the kissing I mostly initiate), and hang out and love being together and love each other very much. I can't imagine my life without him. I just hate that sex has to be planned, "when we get back from ___ we can have sex." It's gotten to the point where its like, OK you promised we would today but since you didn't can we tomorrow? He even got really upset the other night because it had been a week, not the longest time we have gone without, and he said he felt really bad. I feel like at this point he is just having sex with me to make me happy, and it's not fulfilling. I miss when he used to have to have me right this second, something that hasn't happened in a long time. He even buys me nice lingerie and looks at it online with me so he knows what I like and I know what he likes and we joke about the fake boobs and airbrush girls with too much makeup and I have some really hot stuff that he loves when I wear it for him, but it's not too often anymore.
I think the reason why I end up going so crazy is because I get stressed out, I have a lot of family and financial issues, and I need it as a release. Doing it myself isn't cutting in, I need the intimacy with him. He is basically the only one that can keep me sane when my family is driving me up the wall because he has a hectic family too. I need it but I don't want him to feel like he has to give it to me so I pretty much have given up on trying as much to have it any more.
Well this was a lot longer than I meant for it to be, sorry guys. I know some of you are going to say "break up, don't be trapped" but I honestly do not want to break up and I do not feel trapped. We are a great couple and this is pretty much our only issue, except that I usually do the dishes, but he usually takes out the trash so I guess it evens out lol. I just want some help here, from guys if possible, and girls who have been through this type of situation. Should we watch more porn together? Should I just cut off sex for a while and see if he actually does want it? We have talked about it, but I don't always feel like he's being totally straight forward with me because he's embarrassed or whatever else. Do you think he just watches too much porn and masturbates too much that he's desensitized? I mean I got home today and he was in the bathroom with his computer, I even found a little pair of headphones in there, for when I'm home so I can't hear what he's listening to I guess. Am I not being trusting enough? I just don't know what to do anymore. See a counselor? HELP!