Lately when I am alone I tend to think a lot. And I get this feeling, I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It's not that I'm sad, it's something else. But I just don't know how to put it into words. It only happens when I'm alone and bored. This has often happened to me before this time of year. Around the winter time, I think it's cause I don't go out and do as much but I'm not sure. When I think of my boyfriend (of 1.5 years) I get this weird feeling but when I am actually with him everything is perfectly normal and I feel happy as ever. I'm not sure if texting is just boring to me or what. Same with friends. I just get weird feelings but when I'm out and about I feel fine! I just hate this feeling especially because I don't know what's causing it. I was thinking it could be because lately I've been so stressed. I'm in grade 12 so I've applied to college. I want to be a dental hygienist but it's such a competitive program to get into so that's basically all that's been on my mind. There is a program here where I live which I am praying I get into, but they only accept 24 students. I worry that if I have to move, my boyfriend and I won't be okay. I worry he will get sick of waiting for me and not be able to handle the distance. Heck, what if I can't handle the distance? Which I doubt because I hear there is a lot of homework with this program so I will be distracted. I feel like my anxiety about this could be my recent emotionless feelings but I don't know. I just want to feel normal again but I know this year is going to stress me it until I know if I got in anywhere..

What you are feeling is completely normal. A mixture of boredom and anxiety over the changes that are about to take place in your life. It's normal and the changes will happen. Go with the flow. You and boy friend will make it or you won't. That's life. It's all a part of the journey.

Everybody goes through the same emotional highs and lows of life in general. It's not at all unusual to be uncertain sometimes and even sad when things are new to us, or the old things start to change. It really is a part of growing and learning to adjust as new things enter our lives to be dealt with.

You are not alone with those feelings, so don't panic, life is 99% how you deal with your own feelings. Nobody is perfect. You seem thoughtful, and that's not a bad start at all.

I think you have pretty much identified what is causing this stress. The thing about stress is, that those 'feelings' of stress, still manifest in different ways as you also have pointed out, even when you aren't actively thinking about them. It's probably sort of a nagging feeling, that you can't quite put your finger on and say, "That's it!"

I advise you to take each defined stressful event/thought/fears and on a piece of paper, or a diary or notebook, write them up in headings.

For example: Boyfriend, college applications, anticipated possible separation from your home town.

Then dissect it as best you can.

What you will find is that you might comment on more underlying worries (they tend to bunch up into much more than just 'college'). You might be inclined to put under college, in capital letters, 'THE UNKNOWN'. And list your fears- the courses, the workload, less free time, new friends, new environment (dorm/apartment), possible loss of boyfriend, etc.

Then, with that list, see what you can actually change, and see what you cannot change. Until you actually arrive at college, you have little to no idea of the workload, courses, people, free time, new living environment, etc. You can imagine what it will all be like, but you won't know what it will be like, until each of the things you've identified, are actually experienced.

You will soon realize that you are forced to accept that you are worrying about things, that you have no control over- which is both in the physical aspect, but in the emotional aspect as well. When you imagine one point or the other without having experienced it yet, you are projecting more stress, already upon a stressful situation.

It is the same under 'BOYFRIEND'. You have no idea how he think, or behave, with you gone. You will learn that you cannot hang your dreams on a hope and a promise that he will still be your boyfriend, or continue to be your boyfriend, during your college years, or beyond.

Try to be as honest as you can with your own thoughts, and be critical when judging the points and realize how each item is contributing to your stress levels, and then comes the hard part. To reduce the stress level, awareness and acceptance are key. If you are aware for example, that allowing your mind to spin over possibilities and expectations, you are not allowing yourself to accept the fact that the unknown, is something you have no control over.

Think too that even if things turn out better than expected, which I hope they do, you will still have no control over future events, disappointments, and new problems that will stress you out. Keep taking apart the stressor, and when things are on paper, it is easier to see that you put far too much weight into things you cannot control.

With practice, when you can identify, and then go through the process of really thinking about what it is that bothers you, and come to realistic answers, you will no longer stress about it. There is always an answer to any thoughts you do not think you can control, or for which you have no answer.

Best of luck to you.