Originally Posted by
Cat1864
I have a question. When tells you what he needs, do you listen or continuing doing things your way?
Frankly, if you laugh off his needs and complaints, tell him what others say to you, and, in general, make it all about you (your pleasing him sounds more like what you want than what he does,) then this relationship isn't working out and won't. If you don't listen, why should he?
Have you actually discussed the subject with him? Listening to what he needs, wants and likes while sharing your thoughts, needs, etc.? Or do you complain and lecture him?
It may be that your sex drives are incompatible. He may have performance issues. He may be reacting to an impression of you trying to take over how he masturbates and his libido. He may not be consciously 'being selfish'. He may be subconsciously reacting to the pressure you are putting on him.
Set a time to talk when sex isn't expected. Set a place outside of the bedroom. Discuss the issues and the relationship. Be open and honest, but make certain you are encouraging him to do the same. Listen to him like you want him to listen to you. Work together to find a compromise. If you can't and the rest of the relationship isn't enough to satisfy you, then let go and walk away before you continue to hurt each other and do more damage.