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-   -   Why doesn't my Boyfriend want me to sleep with other women? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=378536)

  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:01 AM
    klynntuck
    Why doesn't my Boyfriend want me to sleep with other women?
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 3yrs. When he met me, he knew I was bisexual & he was OK with it at first, now he doesn't want me to be involved with women in a sexual manner. He thinks that if I want to have sex with another woman then, he's just not enough for me. That's really not the case, I just enjoy having sex with women and have a certain yearning to do it. Help Me?
  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:08 AM
    smoothy

    Ever hear of a word called Fidelity? Apparently he believes in it.


    How would you feel if he said he loves you but wants to sleep with other women too? What's the difference here?
  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:09 AM
    HotPotato2009

    Please believe me when I say that I am not being smart. Just curios... Why would you want to sleep with other women if you have a boyfriend though? Don't you think you should be committed to him now?
  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:13 AM
    Synnen

    Bisexuality is NOT a free card to have sex with people outside of your relationship.

    Bisexuality just means that you're willing to HAVE that relationship with either sex.

    It comes down to this: You're either willing to be ONLY with your boyfriend, or you're not. If you're not, then you're cheating on him. Period.

    If he's not okay with it, and you "need" it, then you're just selfish, and should break it off with the guy and let him find someone who is more compatible.
  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:14 AM
    fishburn7

    He sounds like a reasonable adult,,
    He accepts you as a bisexual however you sleeping with other women is cheating, sorry I don't care what sex they are or he is or you are, if you're sleeping with someone, anyone, outside of your relationship it's cheating
  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:16 AM
    Justwantfair
    You are cheating on your boyfriend, choose to continue your bisexuality and remain single or be faithful to your partner. What you are doing is not fair to him or the relationship.
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:10 PM
    bronzebabe

    Cheating is cheating, whether with a man OR a woman.
    If you can't stay faithful, let him go find someone that can.
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:18 PM
    Torrid13

    Basically what you're saying to him when you say you want to go out and have sex with other people is he ISN'T enough for you.

    Therefore, a crushed ego and suspicions are understandable on his part, and your belief that he should be okay with it is completely disconcerting.

    If you want women so bad, break up with him so he go for someone who doesn't completely care about themselves and actually takes his role in her life seriously.

    >:/
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:20 PM
    Alty

    I love men, can I ask my husband if I can sleep with other men and still be with him? I don't think he'll go for it.

    Somehow you've convinced yourself that being with another woman doesn't make you unfaithful, but it does. The fact that he was okay with it before is mind boggling. He's not okay with it now.

    You've put 3 years into this relationship, isn't it time to be faithful to just him?

    If you can't keep your pants on then let him go, have your fun and let him find someone who will give him the commitment he deserves.
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:24 PM
    Torrid13
    Pwned!
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:28 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    pwned!

    :confused:
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:29 PM
    Torrid13

    XD Es tut mir Leid, Altenweg!

    It's like saying OWNED!

    Like "AHA! CAUGHT!"
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:32 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    xD Es tut mir Leid, Altenweg!

    It's like saying OWNED!

    Like "AHA! CAUGHT!"

    Ah! I understand now. I'm old, cut me some slack. ;)

    Dein Deutsch ist sehr gut. :)
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:35 PM
    Torrid13

    PISH POSH!

    I refuse to believe thou art old.


    Danke! Ich habe mich selbst gelernt! :D
  • Jul 22, 2009, 07:55 PM
    Xrayman

    Wow what an a$$hole HE is, how dare he not want you to sleep with other women? What's his problem?

    Sheesh.

    Wake up woman, I'm sure you can work it out why he may not like it...
  • Jul 22, 2009, 08:17 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I guess I see it as,

    I like women, but my girlfriend would have a serious problem with me sleeping with other women.

    If I asked why,?

    So your sexual position is no different, you are not at a stage where you want to be faithful or you want a more open relationship where both are free to have sex with others,

    he does not want this type of relationship. So you find someone who holds the sames values as you
  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:42 PM
    Gemini54
    Well, I have to say that if my husband claimed to be bi-sexual and then asked me if it was OK for him to sleep with other guys, I'd be saying - hell no!

    Your BF may have been OK with you being Bi, but you don't say if he was OK with you sleeping with other people outside the relationship. There is a difference, as I'm sure you're aware.

    In any case he has clearly changed his mind, and you need to respect that.

    If you can't accept and respect his wishes then you have a choice, but I suspect you can't have your cake and eat it too, as they say in the classics.
  • Jul 22, 2009, 09:53 PM
    mudweiser

    Have you offered the option of him watching or making it into a threesome?

    Just a thought...

    Sarah
  • Jul 23, 2009, 08:22 AM
    klynntuck
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mudweiser View Post
    Have you offered the option of him watching or making it into a threesome?

    Just a thought...

    Sarah

    He has watched at a point in our relationship. And like I said he was fine with it then. And FYI I'm not saying that I have cheated on him with anyone, but I'm also not saying that I haven't thought about it. I know my boundaries. I know he is a good man and I wouldn't risk that for anything or anyone in the world. I love him. I just wanted to know the opinion of others.
  • Jul 23, 2009, 08:26 AM
    Justwantfair
    Well factor into the equation an escalation of feeling and love for you.

    When you love someone, it is hurtful to watch them or know that they desire anyone other then yourself.

    While he may have been OK with it while you were dating, his increase of feelings means he wants a faithful relationship with you.

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