I've been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years and we just recently moved in together. Recently I was on his computer and saw that one of his most visited sites was a porn website and so I got curious and found out that he watches porn from this site every day. Even though we have sex regularly he will still watch porn every night once I go to bed even a couple of hours after we had sex. I don't understand why he feels the need to watch this much porn even though I am ready and willing to have sex with him whenever he wants. I am afraid that he isn't as attracted to me as he used to be and It is making me feel really insecure about myself. I'm afraid to bring it up to him because I'm afraid bringing up things like this will push him away. Am I overreacting or is this just something guys do?

This is just something guys do.

Porn isn't about sex, it's about visual stimulation. Men are visual creatures, it's just part of their DNA.

If it bothers you you really should discuss it with him, make him aware of how you feel. Being upset with him when he has no idea why isn't fair to him, or to you. You're in a committed relationship, and communication is the key to keeping it going.

You only recently found out about a habit that he has probably had for years. If your relationship was satisfactory when you didn't know, why should it be any different now that you do?

For some people, 'porn' is just another form of entertainment like Romance novels or Rap music and they aren't getting aroused or masturbating every time they watch a video or look at a picture. I admit that I find some porn videos funnier than the mainstream movies.

As Altenweg said, if it bothers you, talk to him. He won't know how you feel about it unless you tell him. Do not expect or allow him to promise not to watch any more. Promises like those seem to lead to more upset. Do recognize where the differences are and see what form of compromise can be reached.

Would you feel better if you watched with him instead of feeling like he is keeping it secret?

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Originally Posted by me83189

Am I overreacting or is this just something guys do?

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Yes, you're overreacting. Yes this is just something guys do.

To expound on this a little more. This isn't because he is unsatisfied with you. Men are visual creatures and he is looking at this because he likes looking at naked women. All guys like looking at naked women. It is a spark of fantasy.

It isn't a reflection upon you. As Alty and Cat said, he has been doing this for 5 and half years without you knowing, probably longer, and you've been sexually happy all the while. It is just the knowing at this point and that is what has thrown you off balance.

If this is really bugging you talk to him. Know this though, he won't stop so don't try to make him make promises that he will stop. He will say that he still loves you and thinks you are insanely attractive. Believe in him on this fact.

You could be Pamela Anderson... and not Roseanne Barr...

Guys like to look at naked women.

Just remember looking at naked women isn't the same as chasing naked women.

Deal with it. My boyfriend watches porn for 3 whole hours every night and makes me the whole time with him (we live together) and after wards he makes me do everything they do in the porn videos and trust me its horrible.he even got so obsessed that he had a pole put into our house so he even makes me do sexy things on the pole.I hate him.he raped me and sense I had no where to go when I was 12 and he was 20 and I'm 18 now he forced me to live with him

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Originally Posted by xoamberbabayxo

deal with it. my boyfriend watches porn for 3 whole hours every night and makes me the whole time with him (we live together) and after wards he makes me do everything they do in the porn videos and trust me its horrible.he even got so obsessed that he had a pole put into our house so he even makes me do sexy things on the pole.i hate him.he raped me and sence i had no where to go when i was 12 and he was 20 and im 18 now he forced me to live with him

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Other than both men watch porn, I don't see a single connection between your case and hers. YOU are the victim of child abuse and pedophilia, and should go to the police. SHE has a boyfriend who watches porn--like most guys do.

I really don't think that you should be giving advice in this case, as you have a very skewed point of view about sex because you were sexually abused. Please post your own question (if you haven't already) so we can give you advice on your situation without taking away from the original poster's question here.

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Originally Posted by xoamberbabayxo

deal with it. my boyfriend watches porn for 3 whole hours every night and makes me the whole time with him (we live together) and after wards he makes me do everything they do in the porn videos and trust me its horrible.he even got so obsessed that he had a pole put into our house so he even makes me do sexy things on the pole.i hate him.he raped me and sence i had no where to go when i was 12 and he was 20 and im 18 now he forced me to live with him

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Yes. Start your own thread. If anybody could use some help and support it is you.

Your boyfriend has another mistress, its porn. Yes lots of guys watch it but not everyone and your feelings are valid. Porn is a fantasy, its more than just entertainment like reading a book or watching TV. It can be very addicting and a place of escape from reality. If your relationship is hurting because of it then talk to him about it.

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Originally Posted by Nilo39

Your boyfriend has another mistress, its porn. Yes lots of guys watch it but not everyone and your feelings are valid. Porn is a fantasy, its more than just entertainment like reading a book or watching TV. It can be very addicting and a place of escape from reality. If your relationship is hurting because of it then talk to him about it.

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Not hardly... its no different than Soap operas are to women... or check flicks, or romance novels for that matter.

MOST guys watch it... all guys are visual... as far as addiction... Women get addicted to soap operas too... people get addicted to the craziest stuff... its not a drug after all, it doesn't cause an addiction.

Anyone's feelings cease being valid when they begin to encroach upon the rights of others... by that I mean anyone that thinks they have a right to dictate to another adult what they can and can't view... better be receptive to being subject to the same restrictions to that they can and can't watch as well.

We have a very old saying that sums that concept up very well... "whats good for the goose is good for the Gander."

This thread is from last January.

Continue to answer if you must, but don't let it degenerate into a "porn is BAD!" or "Porn is FINE" argument.

I don't think the OP is going to come back to see your answers either way, though.

Gee Smoothy... I think there's a big difference between a soapie and Porn! No way is watching a porn flick the same as watching a Soapie... my question is... would the guys be happy if their girlfriends were watching flicks with guys that had massive erections, especially if you have just had sex... or even just watching buff fellas for the hell of it... how would that make guys feel??

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Originally Posted by cmick

Gee Smoothy...I think there's a big difference between a soapie and Porn!! No way is watching a porn flick the same as watching a Soapie.....my question is...would the guys be happy if their girlfriends were watching flicks with guys that had massive erections, especially if you have just had sex...or even just watching buff fellas for the hell of it.....how would that make guys feel???

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There is no difference at all... to the female mind it works exactly the same as porn does for a guys. Exactly the same... and to turn around YOUR comment... how many of you women watch George Cloney and Brad Pit or other actors and swoon over them?

The answer is you deal with getting over your own insecurities, you stop blaming everyone else for not doing what you demand so you can continue to avoid dealing with them yourself.

Closed.