Originally Posted by
joypulv
OK - woman here.
There do seem to be some little insights about her missing from your description. Other than her attention to her pets, I don't know how we would have a clue about HER. There's no 'answer' that applies to all women! I think you know that though.
- When did she lose interest? Was it gradual or sudden?
- Any signs of menopause? I hit it around 50, but of course that's just when my periods were 99% gone. There can be years of waning hormones, with no aha moment.
- I personally did not consider the bed to be a foreplay playground. In fact I was happiest getting wooed anywhere but the bedroom. Affection out in public, in the kitchen, in front of the computer, driving the car...
I avoided sex later because of pain all down my left side and leg, including inner thigh. Different situation from yours, I assume. Took me 30+ years to get it diagnosed correctly. Meanwhile I got dumped.
I have a friend who didn't want sex with her husband and they went to couple counseling. They actually worked out a compromise, believe it or not. The therapist felt that couples should work out a sort of 'deal' for the sake of being together. Men often want more, women less. So if you want 10 times/mo and she would rather have none, you meet in the middle, as it were.
One thing I forgot - I read a survey of night vs morning wish for sex. It's a wonder any of us have sex at all. Men and women, it seems, are very different about WHEN. Your job to figure it out for the 2 of you. No survey is ever 100% across the board.