Boyfriend doesn't like my big boobs
I have at least a size 38C cup size. (I fit better in a D cup, but the pretty bras only go up to 38C) I am 5' 4" and 140 lbs. i am not that over weight, but i have big hips, butt and boobs- you know curves....which i thought was a desirable thing. My boy friend likes B cups and i really think he feels that mine are too big. the only time he ever touches them is when i complain that he isn't.
I seriously used to hate my boobs- they seemed to get in the way of everything and have no use except once or twice in a life time when i have kids in the future. but then when i was 16, i discovered how nice it was for them to be touched and to feel desired and all that. Then i finally felt at an advantage for having big boobs. but now i'm back to feeling that they have no use since my boyfriend doesn't seem to like them and he NEVER gets really into feeling me up.
He says he's just doesn't care about nudity or boobs...and it really seems like it and that realy sucks! We hardly ever have sex with the light on. he says he likes to clothes his eyes and it's more enjoyable but if the light was on, it would burn his eyes. But i want to see him when we're in that moment, and it makes me feel like he DOESN"T want to see me.
Here are my theories as to why he prefers smaller boobs: first of all his ex, his first serious relationship, the girl he was with for more than 5 years... has a B cup. Also, his mom was a stripper (big boobs though) and would talk about boobs like they were nothing (very bad example for kids) and he wasn't really restricted from nudity in movies and what not. The thing is, though, he absolutely hates porn. So I don't really know if he just doesn't care about boobs period or if he just likes smaller boobs on fragile girls like his ex.
Please help me, I don't understand why this bothers me so much but I've actually cried about it and we've gotten into fights over me bringing it up too much. I just don't feel desired at all by him.
p.s. him liking be cups is not in my head... he told me he liked for them to fit into a hand, which I pictured his ex right when e told me that, one of mine would need more than a hand to be covered. He said he couldn't help it that he liked smaller boobs. But he now denies saying things like that because he knows how much it bothers me.