Well its only been a few hours since I was here last, but I need to get some thoughts down out of my head.
I had a relatively easy time this afternoon, I was able to keep busy and didn't think so much about her and her possibly being with another kid. As the sun sets though, I can feel myself becoming insecure. I don't know what it is, but nighttime seems to be the hardest time. Maybe it is because we used to do most of our talking at night, as we both had class all day. In any case, I'm starting to worry because I can feel the thoughts of her and him creeping into the back of my mind. During the time in which we were talking (a few weeks back) she had been honest with me, as she thought knowing the facts would help me. I am trying to use the knowledge that he only "sort of" likes her, and that he is still hung up on his ex-girlfriend to help me feel better.
Deep down, I know what I need is to stop being upset that she may move on, and just accept it as an inevitbility. I hate to think of her being with anyone else, especially in a sexual way. As I write this, I am kicking myself because I know she is a very smart person, and would not involve herself in anything which was risky, or that she was unsure of.
I guess I just can't help the thoughts that come into my mind. In any case, I am going to the gym now, going to play some cards with the guys later, and then probably go to sleep fairly early tonight. Sometimes I wish time would speed up.
I am also going to put a quote from tal at the bottom of the post, so when I reread it, I can read this post. This wasn't posted to me, though I found it in an old thread, and I have read it at least 10 times today. If I haven't been able to explain it, this is exactly what I am doing, and I know I need to stop...
Well you know what they say about ASSuming. Its so easy to fill in the blanks with our own insecurities, and hopes, and dream, with facts that just aren't there. How do you know your forgotten? She's having a great time without you? Why not ASSume she is looking for you in others and spinning her wheels with a lot of candidates that don't quite measure up? |
ASSume nothing and worry about it less.