I just wanted to tell you my story. My mother and I always fought. I was always in and out of trouble with the law and with her. I never listened to anything that she told me and I was going down the wrong path.
When I was 18 she kicked me out of her house and I move to CA from TX. I ended up getting pregnant and having my child. Two months after I had her, I left her dad because of his abuse. At that time I was 19 years old. When I called my mom to help me, she told me that she didn't tell me to move out to CA and told me to figure it out on my own and hung up on me.
I didn't talk to her for a year or so after that, but I also grew up. I knew that I only had me and I was the only one who was there to take care of my daughter. Right then and there my life did a 360. I started going to church and changing my ways. Now, 4 years later, I am doing great. I am almost done with college, I have a house and I am supporting my daughter fully by myself. My mom is also my best friend now.
If it wouldn't have been for my mom showing me tough love and cutting the rope, then I wouldn't be where or who I am today. I thank my mom everyday for eveything that she has done for me and that she was the best mom for telling me to figure it out on my own. It made me grow up and see what life was really about. She started helping me out when she saw that I was working two jobs and going to school full-time being a single mother, but before I worked on bettering my life she wouldn't help me.
So, my advice for you is to show him tough love and do what makes YOU happy, not him. He is an adult now and the decisions that he makes shouldn't effect your life and make you miserable. He needs to figure out life and sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to start changing. I know that it will be hard, but at least you aren't that far away in case he really needs you. Good luck and you will be in my prayers.