No, I never did go ifo a judge. I jst vaguely remember the paperwork that I signed which was ifo a notary my mom used to work with. It was all done so quickly, and my dad had told me awhile back the reason we didn't go ifo a judge is because no one disputed the adoption at the time, if it was something I agreed not to do at the time, then it wldve had to go to court. As for not making contact w/my daughter being my biggest mistake, I do agree w/you. But since my parents have had her, my mom has always made it very difficult for me to see my daughter, and my mom is so annoying to be around, anytime I've ever been around my mom & my daughter together, my mom talks like SHE delivered her. She talks about everything like I'm chopped liver. I've tried to talk to her, but she is so irrational, she won't listen to anything I have to say, its impossible. Everyone including myself is convinced my mom was jst filling a void in her life. During the time I was pregnant, my younger sister was moving out of my parents house & getting married, my parents last child living at home. My mom was so upset, she tried to talk my dad into lettn her have another baby. I'm still convinced my mom knew what she was doing & she took advantage of me, we have never been close, this jst goes to show.
I am currently seeking counseling after reading what both you & Synnen had to say, it was really what I needed to hear. No one that I know (close friends) have told me that I shld seek counseling. I think they thought they were there for me to vent to & a shoulder to cry on. I think I needed to hear it frm the outside, people that don't know me, I really appreciate the advice. I am actually calling again on Monday to set up an appt w/a counselor. Most importantly I need to find a healthy way to deal w/all of this, crying once a week I know is jst not the way... Thanks again to you both.