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    randomrodents's Avatar
    randomrodents Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 27, 2011, 03:01 PM
    Does this sentence need a comma?
    I understand the competitive nature in the field of science and medicine and am ready to quickly transition and drive this new challenge continuing my educational experience and career aspirations.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Nov 27, 2011, 03:26 PM
    Yes, after challenge, but the sentence is not well written as a whole.

    'I understand the competitive nature in the field of science and medicine' is an objective opinion, so your statement is presumptive. Plus medicine is a science, so shouldn't follow 'field of science' with the implication that it is separate. And if you were mentioning 2 fields, you would say fields plural.

    'and am ready to quickly transition and drive this new challenge' is awkward. Drive especially. If you are switching fields, say so in as few words as possible.

    'continuing my educational experience and career aspirations' is just more fluff, sorry.

    Remember that some poor soul is reading hundreds of applications. Put some teeth into it, something perhaps about the value of transfer of knowledge from your current field of study.
    dianalittle's Avatar
    dianalittle Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 27, 2011, 03:26 PM
    I would suggest restructuring the sentence:
    I understand the competitive nature in the field of science and medicine; consequently, I am ready to quickly transition and drive this new challenge continuing my educational experience and career aspirations.

    Or you could even configure it into 2 separate sentences.
    Did you omit a word between challenge and continuing? Maybe "of". Even in complicated writings, the reader should be at ease with the sentence structure. It is better to be understood than to impress anyone with a cumbersome sentence. Rule of thumb: If you don't know the punctuation of a sentence, you need to change the sentence!
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Nov 27, 2011, 03:52 PM
    If it's the Objective on your resume, I'd get rid of the entire thing. Current employers aren't looking for wordy objectives. They want to know how you are going to make them money and save them money which means you need to focus on listing specific Accomplishments and Skills. They don't care how you hope to achieve and improve yourself.
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