[Metalhead11592]

Walking along the street
I close my eyes and hold your hand
I picture that we are walking down the beach
Waves are cascading up and down the cool sand

As we walk I notice
The sun is setting we pause for a moment
Watching the blood red sun fall behind the ocean
It truly is a sight to behold

As the sun falls into the sea the night sky comes alive
The stars are twinkling as I stare into your eyes
It seems the heavens watch upon our kiss
Jealous of our love and togetherness


This is one of my poems its not that great, please give me your opinion

[Alty]

I really like it. Good job.

I'd love to read more. :)

[Metalhead11592]

I have more a lot more

How sad.
My little world.
Torn by deceit.
Burned by hatred.
Diminished by love.
But yet my soul jumps.
At the very sight of you.
So very wicked.
So very wretched.
What's this hold?
You have on me?
Stinging Pain.
At The thought of your goodbye.
How you leave me alone.
Crying till the mildew comes.
Dreaming of how you smell.
Reminiscing on the taste.
The taste that lives on your lips.
I see your perfect face.
So perfectly imperfect.
But yet again.
So very wicked.
So very wretched.
And still.
I can't seem to get over you.
Im scared.
And I think I'll never stop crying

[Alty]

Wow!

I can't write poetry, not at all, I'm envious of those that can.

Keep it up, you have talent. :)

[Metalhead11592]

Lol its one of the few talents that I have

[SympatheticEar]

I like them. Have you ever considered using more structure, like grammar and meter, in your poems?

[colormebroken]

I like the wicked and wretched.. oh but of course I would seeing that I'm the one who wrote it..

[Fr_Chuck]

You said it was from another site, what site is that,

[shihouzhuge]

It's a beautiful poem!
On the other hand, I hope that you could describe more scenerys to express your emotion, and I think you may feel better in your poem...