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    bijiou36's Avatar
    bijiou36 Posts: 117, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 16, 2010, 06:29 PM
    Not a question ; A Poem 2
    My name is Angel,
    I am three
    My parents despise me
    They hate the day I was born
    They make me wear clothes all wet and torn

    I am six now
    They haven't put me in school
    They are afraid my bruises and cuts will show
    I just wish I'd be dead soon to be out of the world forever
    Until my parents have beaten me enough, I know that day is never

    I've come to ten
    I'm finally in school; I think my teacher is noticing
    Just last night my mom kicked me
    Then daddy joined in I wish my angel would help me soon
    I want to know what I did

    I'm fifteen now
    I'm still beaten but now my daddy's touching me in bad places
    I have a boyfriend; I think he's using me
    He beats me every now and then
    I feel like my days are finally coming to end

    I have no age
    My mom, dad, and boyfriend ganged up on me
    I think they've been planning

    They hit me with bats and hammers
    I could feel blood gushing from my head
    My eyes became blurred
    My head became blank
    I remembered to thank my angel
    I blacked out, finally
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 16, 2010, 07:10 PM

    Ahhhhhh! Another good one, and nicely written with good English and phrasing. Lots of emotion too. I like the progression of age and how things escalate as the person gets older. She feels things more deeply as the abuse gets worse.

    Well done!
    bijiou36's Avatar
    bijiou36 Posts: 117, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Aug 16, 2010, 07:20 PM

    Thanks!<3
    Unknown008's Avatar
    Unknown008 Posts: 8,076, Reputation: 723
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Aug 17, 2010, 07:53 AM

    Nice poems! They were as you said, sort of dark but it's okay :)

    Now, time to get your other grades up. Don't hesitate to ask :)

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